So excited!!!!!!!!!!!

filter

I talk too much. Sometimes. And the worst bit is when I hear myself talk rubbish and instead of stopping, I just keep going.
I clearly need to work on setting up some filters.
Or maybe simply think before I speak. That might also be a good idea.

Words of wisdom

My boss sent me this quote the other day:

'You don't have to see the whole staircase, 

just take the first step.'

Martin Luther King

I have the feeling my boss was hinting at the opposite of how I interpret this for me....

a life less serious

Occasionally I forget not to take myself, life, and just stuff too seriously. I'm still amazed how I'm the master of my well-being and how it's entirely up to me how I feel. It's so empowering and still I had forgotten over the last few weeks where I put myself through mental hell.

And now: hello weekend!

my office comes with a stunning view of the mountains (not visible in this photo...)
sunset this evening

meat and meat

Ah, what a great day:
lunch at my local Greek restaurant and Schnitzel at Floetzingers for dinner.
And most importantly lovely company.
My old happy self is back. :-)

Aussies

Was watching the end of Funny People, dubbed in German. One of the characters is apparently an Aussie guy. So, in the German translation this is demonstrated by him continuously saying 'fucking' and 'dudes'. The lovely Aussie accent is completely lost :-(

peace

I went to an evening class tonight about the Heidelberger Kompetenztraining zur Entwicklung mentaler Staerke (HKT - Heidelberger competence training to develop mental strength). Still not closer to making a decision but for a change I felt relaxed and calm. And practised some coaching on one of the other attendees ;-)

My new mantra: I know I can do this. The decision will come. Not sure when, ideally soon, but it will be all right. Interestingly, I also slept really well the last couple of days.

heart and mind

Plan for the weekend was to engage in some list writing. While I've been busy making lists for the last few months, they've always just been in my mind. So, I was hoping that writing things down might help clarify the issue at hand.

Instead of writing that list, I spent half the day watching a silly teenager movie and youtube clips instead. What does that tell you? I am not sure really. Maybe that I prefer to stay in this shitty place I currently find myself in? (not the physical place I live in!)

Anyhow, by coincidence, I then came across the website of a German coach. Among other tools, she offers a free audio recording with an exercise that is meant to help you to make a decision on an issue where your heart and your mind might want opposite things. Which I assumed was the case in my dilemma at hand.

The surprising outcome of the exercise was that the decision that I assumed is favoured by my mind, is actually favoured by my heart. I really don't know what that means for the decision making process yet. I suppose it possibly means that all the fears that are connected with the other outcome, are entirely driven by my heart and not my mind. Which makes sense to a certain extent.

signs ... or maybe not

Check out this lovely Harold's planet cartoon.
And when I got into my car on Friday night, this song was playing on the radio:

"...

Wenn der Sinn von allem sich nicht zeigt

sich tarnt bis zur Unkenntlichkeit

wenn etwas hilft mit Sicherheit, dann Zeit

es geht vorbei, es geht vorbei

Hey, sei nicht so hart zu dir selbst

es ist ok, wenn du faellst

auch wenn alles zerbricht

geht es weiter fuer dich

..."

Sandro's healing hands

Another massage at bodysano with Sandro: heavenly! Main focus on my poor back, of course, including my bum... What can I say? I left feeling much better. If only I could get a massage every day!

bend over

The Chinese National Circus gave one (!) performance in Rosenheim of their new show Shanghai Nights unplugged. My first evening out at the Culture and Congress Centre. And first of all: who thought about the set up? The stage would need to be just that bit higher, so that people can actually see what's happening as the seating is of course not tiered. During the second half we sneaked to the front and had a perfect view though, so I am not complaining all that much.

While the ticket price of 36€ was rather steep (I hardly ever paid this much for a show in London!), it was a nice evening out with some impressive body bending performances as well as some humour. And nice to hang out with the girls I met through the English speakers in Rosenheim FB page. Needless (?) to say, that I organized this outing. Some things don't change ;-)

Yes, I did it!

I bailed on going to the gym on Wednesday. I didn't leave the office until 8pm, which seemed good enough an excuse to go straight home.Tonight, I left the office at 6:30pm and the temptation to go home was massive... Not least with these stupid opening hours, I knew that the supermarket would be closed by the time I had finished my workout! First world problems, I know (especially, as there is food in my fridge and freezer - I make sure to always have a frozen pizza!).

I am very pleased to say that I did go despite having a cold also. :-)

Suddenly

For weeks and even months now, have I been going back and forth over a decision. Today, I was sitting in a meeting and had an Eureka moment. So, maybe my gut feeling does still work. I just need to learn to listen to it. And while this is certainly not a long term decision, it is for the short term and I can stop racking my brain for now.

relief

two hours at the dentist this morning. but so glad I had it all done in one go.
five fillings - yikes...
and only one day until the weekend! I've spent most of this week in  meetings which always makes me feel like I'm not getting anything done. on the other hand, time flies by.

91 days

politics

My first senior management meeting in my new position.
So predictable that politics can be found wherever you go.
By refusing to get drawn in, can you actually stay out?

Nevertheless, THIS is what I enjoy: DISCUSSING stuff, ideally with tangible outcomes.
Isn't that much more fun than DOING stuff?

fickle-est

I think I am going gaga... Or certainly the most fickle you could possibly imagine.
And it makes me so mad at myself. Which is of course counterproductive.
What the hell do I want??? Surely it cannot be this hard to find the answer?!

People who sew

7 reasons why people who sew clothes are cooler than everyone else

Couldn't agree more! :-)

What's with global warming when you need it?

It is snowing. And it's not stopping. Until last week, winter in Germany had been rather mild, much to my relief. But now it's all white outside and even on the main road here in Rosenheim, the snow is not melting. Meaning, that roads are likely to be rather icy tomorrow. Walking on the slippery pavement won't be much fun either though. Especially not as my back pain is getting worse every day.

Yes, I know, there are many worse things.

So it begins

Finishing work at 17:00
Sushi
Caveman

And the weekend begins. I really hope the snow will stop though...
And how on earth can 0C feel so f&cking cold???

More sad news

You've got to laugh

The reason I want to be self-employed: only having to put up with my own shit instead of other people's incompetence. 

As a side effect: this should really take me to a place where I am no longer terrified of making even the tiniest mistake. Or so I hope.

What's with all the drama??

I am currently annoying myself (and most likely those around me) with my constant moaning. And once more, it goes to show that talking about things doesn't always help but instead makes things worse. It's beyond me, how in the 'heat of the moment', even the tiniest things seem like insurmountable obstacles. It's a terrible state of mind to be in. And I intend to snap out of it.

Tomorrow night, it's time for another English lesson at the children's home and then on Friday night, I am going to see the play Caveman (yes, here in Rosenheim!). And then it's the weekend.
Life is good :-)

change

... seems a constant factor in my life. And I love it. Mostly.

I was listening to the Wicked song For Good again - and it still touches me so deeply that it makes me cry every single time. It's strange to think that it's only six months ago that I sat in the theatre in London watching the musical. And now I am here in Rosenheim. And it already feels like a home somehow. Admittedly most likely not a long term home but a home right now nonetheless.

I have no idea what I am trying to say here really. Other than that the song still makes me cry.

in sad news

food envy

Schnitzel, pork knuckle, game with Spaetzle

Doesn't happen often to me: but I had a serious case of food envy on NYE: the pork knuckle T had ordered looked amazing! Without a doubt, I will be back to order it myself at Duschlbraeu!
And another sign that clocks tick differently over here: I managed to book a table for NYE on the morning of said day... Not complaining though!

And 'we' also do desserts very well:

apple cake, Tiramisu, Kaiserschmarrn

What I don't do well is translating menus - painful!

100 days

That's not really a lot, is it?

Salzburg

... had been on my list since I moved to Rosenheim. Just an hour by train and thanks to the Bayern ticket, super cheap to get to as well.

So, when T and A came to visit after Xmas, it was the perfect opportunity. If A hadn't gotten sick on the way there.

Anyhow, even though our trip was cut a tiny bit short, I have to say I wasn't overly impressed with the city. Nice enough for sure, but a day-trip really is enough. And - for me - nowhere near as pretty and impressive as Vienna (as some people had alluded to). Having said that, we were lucky with the weather and had a nice time anyway. Well, except for Amy :-(

hm....

washing instructions
- for a towel...

on top of the world

Awesome birthday on top of the mountain - if not the world ;-)

Can you imagine the view on a blue-sky day?
And no, we of course did not hike to the top of the Wendelstein (in the Alps). You can pick between a cable car or a cog railway. Then it's another 25 minute walk up to the very top.

tick, tick

- joined the gym
- cooked dinner

Progress!

just in case...

I want to start saving more consciously this year. For a rainy day or a sunny summer or a holiday of a lifetime or something like that.

In tandem with using my kitchen, I should be saving money by preparing lunches at home (this should also help with actually eating a proper lunch every day!). I shall also stop buying more and more clothes, and reserve my remaining wardrobe space for self-sewn pieces, using up the piles of fabric I already spent money on. As well as stop buying more shoes, that I never wear...

Money will be spend on a gym membership though. It will be painful, but really is necessary. The gym is just a 5 minute walk from work - so no excuse not to pop over for at least a mini workout on most days (ok, let's aim for three times a week, realistically...). 

Lastly, I will aim to stop buying more cosmetics that I am also not using. And I really don't need a 5th mascara nor the 10th lipstick...
Nor do I need another watch.

I do need (WANT) a leather jacket though. So, that remains on my shopping list. As well as a new bikini - should the next summer be as glorious as the last one. Or indeed for the holiday that also remains on the list.

Fortunately, I bought a course of 12 massages at the end of last year ;-)

That time of year

In 2016, everything will change!

No, not really. Life is pretty awesome as it is. Nonetheless - and despite continuously thinking of ways to make my life even more awesome - I find January is a good time to think of further areas that could do with improvement.

So, here's my list of New Year's resolutions:

1) Use my kitchen. I hardly ever cook. And while I love a good sandwich with the great German bread that is readily available, I feel, I should make more of an effort. I might have to set myself some targets to make sure I stick to this. Taking lunch to work will also mean that I will eat more healthily and save some money in the process. I feel savings might come in handy at some point this year...

2) Sports. My back has been aching a lot recently and I know the only way to deal with this is to start exercising regularly. I know this will be very tough. But will hopefully show results quickly.

3) Stop the moaning. It's annoying. To everyone who has to listen as well as to myself.

That's it for now.

Happy New Year

blablablabla...

2015 was interesting.
2016 will be amazing.