baby time

What a pleasure to meet 6 week old Josh. His parents clearly did and are doing a fabulous job. What a cutie! Especially when he was asleep :-)

new beginnings

If that isn't perfect timing: last day in the office and I receive the notification that I successfully passed the online coaching course:

First BBQ

... in forever!

It was a busy week - just as I like it!

Monday: massage

Tuesday: watching the footy with my work team

Wednesday:  a friend's birthday/housewarming BBQ

Thursday: dinner with A

Friday: baby cuddling, rest day and half-hearted attempt to tidy my flat before C arrives tomorrow

Back to the BBQ on the balcony in a tiny village near Riedering with beautiful mountain views. Met some nice people, including a couple of girls who also have experience with a sabbatical. Coincidence? Probably not.

flowery thanks

The two kids at the children's home are having their final exams which meant I was having the final English tuition this week. And I got these lovely flowers:

It was fun and after my return from my London trip, I have an appointment with the volunteering agency to hopefully arrange another project.

here and now

I had nearly five months to prepare for the final day in this job. On the one hand, it seems as if the time just didn't want to go by. And on the other hand, now the day has 'suddenly' come, it hit me: I had chosen unemployment!

More annoyingly, everyone is asking me how I feel and what plans I have. Despite me telling everyone that I am not making plans right now. The reason these questions annoy me is of course, because my answer at the moment is: I don't know. And given how much I love planning, being in a state of knowing what will be and where I will be in even just 1 month time, is pretty daunting. At times anyway.

At other times, I feel this comforting ball of energy filling my body that gives me the unwavering message that everything will be ok. And I cannot even begin to describe just awesome that feels.

Exactly a year ago -  on 24th July 2015, I had my last day in my old job. On 27th July, I flew from London to Munich with a one way ticket. Never in a million years would I have predicted the events that unfolded.

And can I just say: F%ck, I have learned a lot!

Day 1

Day 1 of my summer of freedom and I wake up to the devastating news that the UK has voted to leave the EU. I knew the result was predicted to be tight, but naive as I am, never did I think this would happen. Especially being German, I always felt that being part of the EU is a given and non-debatable for the peace and stability of Europe.

I am honestly shocked. And on a personal level, also a bit worried about my savings of which the majority is still in my UK bank account losing value at a time when I might need to dip into them...

0

The day has come.
Last day at work.
For the last few days, I have had many people ask me how I feel.
And I don't really know what to say. I don't feel anything in particular. I feel that everything will work out. But that's it. No massive excitement or relief or anything.
I suggest you ask me again in a few weeks time.

group dynamics

As much as I already know this about myself, it still somehow surprises me every time: while I generally get on with anyone on a 1 to 1 basis, I can feel uneasy with the same people when they are in a group. Over the years, I have made peace with sitting in silence - which is some progress. Nevertheless, it still feels a bit like a waste of time to me to be in that situation at all.

it works

This morning on my way to work, I tested my patience and kindness anchor. And it worked a treat. Just smiling made me want to cry. The good sort of tears. What an impact!

Another lovely 1 to 1 over lunch and to finish the day another relaxing massage with Sandro. No better way to start the week :-)

*smile*

More anchoring in today's NLP course. My anchor for patience and kindness is a smile.
I have to admit that I was skeptical:

• Would I be able to know what resources I wanted to anchor? 
• Would I be able to conjure up a past situation where I had already demonstrated this resource? 
• Would I associate with a clear feeling somewhere in my body? 
• Would I be able to come up with my own anchor?

And then surprised how easily it came to me.
It of course remains to be seen how well it works in daily life but I am optimistic.

Another helpful statement:
Everyone has all the resources they need to achieve their goals. Another resource I need to trust more in: having faith, and trusting in my own abilities which I know are there.

bursting

My head is bursting. Bursting with new information. Second day of the NLP basis course and I am absolutely loving it. Wonderful input, a lot of stuff I already knew but needed to be reminded of. A lot of questions, too. But there is time to find answers.
Looking forward to the final part tomorrow.

Licki Brush

Have you seen this?
Honestly WTF?
Minor detail: where is the flipping difference to simply brushing your cat? Using your hand to hold the brush instead of your mouth.

success

I was having a conversation with somebody about my lack of patience. And he came up with: The most successful people he knows are capable of a sustained period of focus on what they want to achieve.

And that is the reason for my lack of success (well, success the way I define it for myself - I am not denying a number of achievements): not knowing what it is I want to ultimately achieve. Which is of course exactly what my brother has been telling me for years now. And which I know myself which is of course the main reason for my summer of freedom. Let's see where I stand on this in about September time.

it's a wrap

After the rather disappointing cooking class I attended last week, we organized our own this week. C showed us how to prepare Vietnamese spring rolls. I actually learned how to make them ages ago during a networking event in London*. I was surprised back then just how easy they are to make, went out to buy a pack of ricepaper. And yes, you can guess it: NEVER made them myself. Until this week.

Again I was reminded just how easy they are to make! Fill them with whatever you fancy including lots of herbs, wrap them up, dip them in sauce and enjoy.

* I was trying to find the relevant blog entry but after scrolling through a few London labelled posts, I stopped. Man, the stuff I have done and the amazing food I've eaten...

ACTION!

I need action. And lots of it. Too bad it's not that easy to find anything to do around here. Especially given my reluctance to drive. I appreciate I need to work on that. An acquaintance asked me recently what I get up to here in Rosenheim and I struggled to come up with anything. Which is a bit weird, cause I somehow manage to do something more often than not.

Renewed priority for the next months: extending my network.

You know what you know

I attended an Access Bars course today. I had heard about this from an acquaintance, who was facilitating today's class. I've already received the bars from her once. It was a pleasant experience but I didn't feel any effects afterwards. Having read a little bit about it, I also have to admit that I am not sure how much I believe in it and can really relate to it.

Looking for things to do this weekend, I decided to sign up for the course anyway. And yes, this IS a sign for the lack of stuff going on around here...

Anyhow, I had been a bit worried about getting bored spending eight hours in this class. But time actually flew by. It was an interesting and a very intense experience. We were only four attendees and one of them clearly brought a huge bag of issues with her. I found it tough and draining having to listen to her very emotional outbursts. It made me want to cry myself even.

There were a few elements I found rather strange and others that were great food for thought. On my return home I googled a bit - and found some articles that claim that the whole Access Consciousness organization is a cult and that founder Gary Douglas an ex Scientologist. Also interesting reading...
At the end of the day, I feel it can be whatever you make of it. And overall, I found it a valuable experience for me for a number of reasons. One of them being that it felt more productive or simply 'better' than spending the day on my sofa :-)

WANTED: patience

I have zero patience. With anything. I hate waiting. I want everything here and now. I wonder whether my eagerness to plan things is also part of this issue: when I've planned something and put something in the diary, I at least know it will be happening, even if not immediately.

On the other hand, I admire people who have long term goals and work towards them. I give up before even having made the first step as my brain seems unable to look that far ahead. Maybe I am also overwhelmed by all the possibilities, so surely I cannot lock myself down now - who knows what I will want to do or even where I will be in even just six months time??!
And finally, it's all linked to the fact that I simply have no goal. Looking back this has somehow worked out for the best, I feel. Never did I think I'd end up where I am right now. It's been an exciting journey overall.

So, what am I exactly trying to say? No idea really.
But in certain situations, a bit of patience would probably help not to feel so squirrelly (apparently an American word).

new expectations

Today I met a guy for coffee who I got to know through the English speakers in Rosenheim group. He brought me chocolates:

unusual choice, I'd say, but I am not complaining

I'm not sure whether it has become customary to bring chocolates to a first meet up but henceforth I shall be expecting it. ;-)

what's happening?

I am pleased to that say that I hardly ever hear my neighbours. I might occasionally hear the kids or the parents' shouting from across the hall, but only when I am in my living room, but not my bedroom. And it doesn't happen a lot.

For some reason, my neighbours above me become very active on Saturday mornings. I hear music, and it sounds as if they are rearranging furniture regularly. Not exactly how I prefer to be woken on a weekend. Then I remind myself that I've had to endure much worse. And I am grateful for the way things are. Which by the way is always a good strategy to cheer yourself up :-)

a short chapter closed

And the lessons learned:

- I can and should rely on my intuition

- better now than later

- some people are not worth my time and I should always consider this so not waste my time

- my pride might be hurt, but who gives a f&ck about pride anyway?

happiness through online shopping

Inspired by Joanna's blogpost, I placed an order with Greenglam:

Content:
- two perfume sticks from Sabe Masson. Zazou smells of lemons and I'd say that Parisian Rhapsody smells mostly of roses. Above all, they are so pretty :-)
- evolve Facial wash - mini
- Madara Herbal Deodorant
And three samples.

fingers crossed

I have just submitted my answer sheet for my Life Coaching course. I should get my results in two weeks' time.

I enjoyed doing the course and definitely think I learned a lot. The last module evolved around setting up a coaching practice and that's where I felt this knot in my stomach. It's all good to think about being a coach but the business considerations, registering a business, building a website, marketing to even get clients in - all of this feels like a massive mountain right now.
Step by step, I know I can climb it, if I want to. But for now, I am resting at the bottom of that mountain, which probably is just a hill anyway...

compliments

Making compliments is not yet my forte. Pity really, as it's easy and brightens pretty much anyone's day. They certainly cheer me up.
And in this case also taught me a new term: the gift of the gab
"the ability to speak easily and confidently in a way that makes people want to listen to you and believe you" (Cambridge dictionary).
Thank you, R! :-)

Another one of my favourite (unrelated) compliments:
"Nice top/dress/skirt"
"Thanks, I made it myself"
"REALLY?"
:-)

why not

Not that I needed them, but shopping is simply fun. And there is pink!

matchy-matchy

One of those things that had been on my list forever: sewing hairbands from the leftover fabric I have from a number of dresses I've made. DONE:

As you can see the bit where the band comes together is not very well sewn, especially on the middle one ...
but as it's covered by my hair, not a big deal, right?

And here the corresponding dresses:
one
two
three

seeing myself through other people's eyes

As much as I am looking forward to closing this chapter in my life, I will no doubt be sad to say my goodbyes to my team. But as I hate leaving do's (I feel awkward; I don't get the chance to speak to everyone; I get emotional and teary), I decided to have 1 to 1 goodbye sessions with everyone in my team.

I've had three so far and they've all been beautiful.
I am using them to get feedback from the team about me and to share some final words of wisdom with each individual. And I cannot tell you how happy they are making me.
A summary will surely follow at the end of it all.

wait and see

Another example how 'wait and see' can really be a valuable option. Some problems just disappear by themselves. For someone like me, who has zero patience, this is of course a tough one. But I am prepared to live and learn.

blood, sweat and tears

Not really. Not any of those but a lot of patience and undoing seams were involved in finally finishing this dress. Surprisingly really, as I've sewn it twice before already!!
Here and here

This time I used bias binding instead of neck facings or top stitching and I am relatively pleased with it. I then didn't manage to fit in the sleeves so included a slight gathering. I also managed to sew one sleeve in inside out and didn't sew the front pieces together correctly first time round. And we all know just how much I hate undoing seams...

But, it is finally done (I had abandoned the project weeks ago as I couldn't work out how to finish it):

Thanks to the bad lighting in my bedroom, I am including a photo on my dummy
(yes, I need to adapt the height of my dummy!)

old age and my mess

I go through sewing phases. I can go for weeks and months without feeling even a hint of motivation. My overlocker that I was so excited about, is still in its box for example... Which also reminds me that my plan for yesterday had been to look for a simple table to put it on. Ah well, next week!

My dungaree dresses have sparked my sewing mojo and I've been looking through my boxes full of fabrics. I picked a pattern and a fabric and then realized that the pattern was missing from the envelope. Not having much hope to find it quickly in my (organized) chaos, I was even more surprised when I realized that I had cut out that pattern with another fabric months ago. I had just not dared sewing it yet. The fabric is a slippery silk-like one and I am quite apprehensive about potentially ruining it. But as I know now, I have another fabric I can use already :-)

number 2

And cause I liked it so much, I made another one.

happiness and happiness

Just read this article on Tiny Buddha on how to create happiness by Josh Gilchrist.
And who doesn't want to be happy?

energy

a spoonful of garlic

Or potentially a bit more than that.
This weekend there is a Street Food market going on in Rosenheim. The majority of food trucks are selling burgers which don't lend themselves to eating on the go, I feel. So, we opted for Spanish food at Espana instead.

very garlicky mini gambas, chorizo bread and a Pink Flamingo

And afterwards, I had my premiere at the local cinema and Ryan was as gorgeous as expected :-)

another one bites the dust

Another colleague handed in her resignation. Not entirely out of the blue. Well, not out of the blue at all really. All while my boss is on her way back from the client's office, where they announced my resignation.

Reminds me of this quote:

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

Henry Ford

Simples.

the anger fag

As a teenager I used to have the occasional cigarette when I had a shit day. Then during my university days, I became a social smoker - drinking when going out and having a drink. Then during my first job, I lived with a smoker in a flatshare, who smoked in the living room and I somehow got into the habit of smoking at home in the evenings, too.
And then I stopped completely.

I bought a pack of fags when I moved to Rosenheim. I can't even remember why. But only smoked one so far. And then tonight, after a crap day, I had another one. Unfortunately, it has now exactly lifted my mood. Ah well, worth a try...

foodie anxiety nightmares

I recently noted that I have a recurring nightmare: 

in those nightmares, there is a lots of amazing food on show. But somehow I do not get the chance to eat any of it. Last night, I was searching for a clean plate to help myself from the copious buffet and couldn't find one.

I wonder what that means.

Eine Seefahrt, die ist lustig...

perfect day off spent on a boat on the Chiemsee

As Seen On(line)

I spotted the below blue dungaree dress on asos and immediately fell in love. I resisted the urge to order it and figured that I should be able to sew it myself. I have a self-made pattern for a stretch pencil skirt from a while ago which I used. All in all it was as easy as I expected it to be :-)

At first I had some issues with the bit where the straps are on the top bit of the dress. I initially used push buttons but didn't like the look of it (I also cleverly sewed them on the wrong way round TWICE before getting it right...). So, I then sewed them to the back of the top and the button you can (just about see) are for decorative purposes only. Below you can see the dress modeled with three different type of tops. It's shorter than the original but I find this length more flattering on me.