worthwhile shopping

After 13 months back in Germany, I had collected enough Payback points to get this little beauty for free:

For years now, I've been having issues with my current hand luggage: the handle keeps falling off and it topples over when fully packed. Every time I use it, I am reminded of my brother's advice from years ago: Get a fucking new one!!!
And now I did :-)

it's that time of year again

Rosenheim's mini Oktoberfest started last weekend:

and what a sunny summer's day!

things that really matter

For the last seven years or so, I've been painting my nails. Initially, changing my colour every 3-4 days until I found a good top coat (essie good to go) which meant that my polish lasted a whole week. Despite using a base coat - and having tried a number of different ones - my nails are discoloured, which is one of the reasons that I never went a day without polish on. I have a big collection of polishes, which I love a lot. And incidentally, I regularly get complimented on my nails, with many people thinking I had a professional manicure done. You get the picture...

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to give my nails a break with the objective for the discoloured bits to grow out and to then try my luck with a new base coat. And what can I say? It has been testing! I constantly glance at my nails, trying to work out how much they have grown already and fighting the urge to simply paint over them. I'm sure it's also a sign of not having much else to do - lol

by heart and right in the heart

Admittedly, all my free-time had started to bore me a little. I am generally quite good at making things happen and creating things I enjoy, but I was beginning to feel a bit down. So, I decided to arrange a short visit in Weimar, where I used to live once upon a time. My former boss was back from having lived in Turkey for the last six years or so, and I figured it would be great to have a reunion after not having seen her in eight years.

And what a great idea it was! Just getting out of Rosenheim did the trick, I think. K is always full of interesting and unusual stories - a great way to broaden my horizon. By coincidence, the Kunstfest (an art festival) was also going on in town and as part of that, we went to see the play 'by heart'. And it was so touching. It's a one man play by the Portuguese Tiago Rodrigues. As part of the performance, ten members of the audience are asked to take a seat on stage and throughout the play, they learn Shakespeare's Sonnet 30.

I am absolutely terrible at learning things by heart. I remember how I once refused to learn a poem for my English class (I wandered lonely as a cloud by William Wordsworth). Let alone that sitting on a stage was terrifying enough. And I am glad that I didn't volunteer as everyone on stage was so preoccupied with remembering their lines that they weren't really able to follow the play anymore.

Tiago reads from letters and quotes other authors. And it all culminates in the audience on stage reciting Shakespeare in German, followed by Tiago reciting the same Sonnet in Portuguese - all linked to the story he was telling about his grandma - and that was such a touching, emotional climax to this amazing play, which I enjoyed very much.

Wenn ich zum stillen Rat in meiner Brust

Enbiete die Erinn'rung alter Tage,

Wein' ich um manchen schmerzlichen Verlust

Und fueg zu altem Leid die neue Klage.

Dann fliesst mein Aug', das selten Traenen trueben,

Um Freunde, die des Todes Nacht verschlang,

Es weint aufs neu um halb vergess'nes Lieben,

Um mancher frohen Hoffnung Untergang.

Und so, beschwert von alter Zeit Beschwerde,

Seh' Leid um Leid im Buch ich aufgemalt,

Verwehtes Weh beugt tief mein Haupt zur Erde,

Ich zahle neu, als haett' ich nie gezahlt.

Doch denk ich dein, fuehl ich das Leid entschweben

Und, Liebster, nichts verlor ich je im Leben.

no news is good news

As a general rule: when it becomes a bit quieter on my blog, it's because life has become a little bit less quiet and I am not finding the time to catch up.

who's watching

For the second time in five weeks, my successor has been on my LinkedIn profile.
Curious much?
Unaware that I can see she looked up my profile?

life is beautiful

Again and again, I am learning the lesson that sometimes patience is all what is needed. Good things will happen and it is beautiful to see 'the stars align'. Wherever it leads and however big or small the supposed impact.

After a couple of weeks that felt stagnant, I feel I recharged my batteries this week.
I simply need to have more faith. Deep down I know that everything is ok the way it is. And I also need to accept that moments of doubts are ok.

impressive

I have the very useless skill of making my own life a misery. And even though I am aware of this special skill, I keep doing it. Quite impressive how slow I can be at learning certain lessons.

I feel responsible to solve other people's problems. Now, this might sound noble to you. But it isn't really. When faced with problems that I simply do not know how to solve or when solving those problems includes things that I find uncomfortable, I get annoyed. Instead of realizing and allowing myself to simply distance myself, I also feel obliged and guilty when not doing the stuff that makes me feel uncomfortable. Which basically means I feel crap either way. Either because of guilt for NOT doing it or for doing it.

Today, I was also wondering whether in all of this is also the wish that somebody else would take of some of the things in my life I don't like to do (and yes, I am totally aware that I have been lucky many, many times and had people help me! Which only adds to feeling guilty when not helping others myself...).

And lastly, I judge myself for feeling uncomfortable and thus trying to avoid doing certain things. A voice in my head screams at me: nobody else in this universe would make a fuss about this. GROW UP! So, it becomes a well known vicious circle of feeling shit about feeling shit etc. When people then feel sorry for me and tell me it's ok NOT to help, it makes me even angrier. And no, there's no logic in that whatsoever.

*pointless rant over*

matching

To go with my new corridor painting, I did another one.
Pink on blue (yes, it's navy blue and not black):

if you need a laugh

... and love Benedict Cumberbatch (and let's face it: who doesn't??! ;-)) - check him out on Graham Norton where they show a clip of him unable to say 'penguin' properly.

something different

A lot of my dresses tend to have a pencil skirt. I feel that A line skirts make my legs look shorter and bigger. Anyhow, I decided to try version C of the New Look 6184 pattern. I did a version with a pencil skirt nearly two years ago - which I incidentally have only worn once... Somehow the top doesn't fit quite well. An issue I also had this time. Unable to translate my measurement into the pattern pieces, I took a gamble with the zip - which simply looked horrible, as even a size 8 was too big on my upper body. I took another guess, and redid the zip and while it's far from perfect, it'll do.

I also keep having issues with pattern pieces not fitting together in length: When I sew the bodice to the skirt, they weren't quite matching. I wonder whether this is entirely due to sloppy cutting. I also had issues with the fabric at the bottom bit of the zip. But then again nobody will look too closely at my bum, I assume. And lastly, the bloody understitching did of course nothing to hold the neck facing in place on the inside, so I had to use a top-stitch. Other than that, I used French seams again, which are of course taking up more than double the amount of time, for having to do two seams instead of one and all the ironing in between. Clearly sewing is all about the output and not the journey for me... I so need to develop more patience!!!

As it turns out, I really like the flowy skirt on this version and I also like the lower neckline. The fabric is quite thin though and a little see-through, so I probably need to get a slipdress to wear underneath.

I like the look of the pattern pieces on fabric. I hate the pinning though. 

buttonholes, lots of buttonholes

In addition to darts and zips, buttonholes are one of the things I shy away from. Comes in handy that I sew a lot with stretch material, making dresses that at least don't need zips or buttonholes, given that most tops need darts...

But as I like a challenge, I finally gave this shirtdress a go with no less than 8 buttonholes. And after a few attempts (on scrap fabric), they actually turned out rather well. 

The fabric somehow reminds me of PJs...

the little things

keep moving

My summer of freedom is a very interesting time. A bit like a rollercoaster. I am pleased to say that I have learned to be more of an observer of my emotions that a judge. Or at least to limit my judgmental-ness.

At the moment, I am wondering how much of my discontentment is linked to how I think others are judging my life. In theory, I of course don't give a crap what others think. But in practice, I do. But it's not really the others - as I haven't heard anything negative at all! - but it is my own inner voice that I am masking as 'the others'.

So, the question is: how much am I getting bored with the status quo? And how much of it is certain expectations I have of myself? I suppose my job did contribute to quite a significant extent how I defined myself.

Anyway, interesting times indeed.

Wasserburg

Wasserburg is a small town - ~12,500 inhabitants - about 30 km from Rosenheim. A friend of a friend lives there and had told me about its picturesque old town. It only took me a year to finally visit. Gosh, quite incredible just HOW slow I sometimes am...

C and her darling baby daughter N picked me up and off we went.
The weather was lovely, only that I wasn't dressed appropriately - it got a bit hot in my black jeans. We had a walk along the river Inn, lined by a number of sculptures. And then wandered the cobbled streets of the old town. Very cute indeed. But also very small. Nonetheless, worth a little day trip for sure.

doesn't look entirely comfortable
but I guess there is something romantic about sleeping outdoors :-)

the light at the end of the ... path

Rock'n Roll

My life is crazy at the moment!!! Culminating in a trip to the Fossil outlet store today. Wild, right??!
Well, what IS unusual is the fact that I finally dared to drive the 40 odd km there, including taking the motorway - admittedly cruising behind lorries and caravans at 100km/h top speed...
What isn't unusual is that I didn't buy anything. But I got some inspiration for what I am looking for.

excited!

I have had this coat pattern for a while but had never dared to tackle it. The thought of f&cking up expensive and a lot of fabric was putting me off. Then, last week, with proper autumnal weather in the middle of August, T was telling me about her coat sewing project. And when I went shopping for a zip and some buttons in the local department store, I saw a number of reduced wool fabrics (€4.99/metre), that I immediately fell in love with. I was even toying with starting two coat projects. But thought better of it and will focus on just one.

Fabric is bought, but I still need lining. And all bought with the voucher I got from my ex boss. So, I won't feel too bad if it really does end up in the bin.

They actually have the same fabric in pink also. I surprised myself by opting for the black and white instead. I suppose it's more practical and goes with more things and I can always add a splash of pink in other ways :-)

oh, the embarrassment

I am still paying for my gym membership and haven't been in months ... Having all this time at my hands, I've started cooking a lot more and generally seem to spend a lot of my time eating. I have even started baking! Or making pudding... Anyhow, this combination is very likely to lead to weight gain, so I dug out my fitness DVDs. Starting with the Dance yourself fit one.

And what can I say? Even though nobody could see me jumping around in my living room, I felt embarrassed about my complete inability to coordinate my legs and arms. The fact that I struggled through all five of the 10 minute exercises is basically a miracle which I somehow doubt I will ever repeat again.

Next up: Yoga!

Advice from the '60s

I recently watched Season 5 of Mad Men (courtesy of Rosenheim library). I absolutely love their dresses!

In one of the episodes, Penny gets asked out by her boyfriend. At first, she is convinced that he'll break up with her until Joan plants the seed that he probably wants to propose. Which Penny gets quite excited about. As it turns out, the boyfriend 'only' asks her to move in together. Visibly disappointed, she agrees anyway.

They then invite Penny's mum over to tell her the news. Which mum is not very happy about at all. Surely, marriage should come first. Mum gets upset and gets up to leave. Penny gets upsets and tells her mum that she is an adult. And then mum says something quite sensible:
If you are an adult, why are you bothered by me disagreeing with your action?
- good point, I thought. On the one hand, we want freedom to make our own decision and on the other hand, we still crave approval - whether from parents, friends or others. What is that about?

Secondly, mum asks why she is settling for this. Mum predicts that the guy will live with her, get it out of his system, and then move on to somebody else who he will marry.
Now, especially nowadays, and especially as I don't believe in marriage, I have slightly different views on this. But what I think is true is that Penny is settling for less than what she wants. She doesn't even dare to ask her boyfriend whether he'd marry her when it is what she wants. Does she not believe that she deserves more? Why do we let others - boyfriends or bosses or whoever else - make such decisions for us? Are we compromising too much? I think I certainly do.

Blast from the past

I am a huge Ricky Gervais fan. The other day his new movie David Brent: Life on the road premiered and his band Foregone Conclusion was gigging at Leicester Square. And I happened to watch the live stream on Facebook. I think we all know, that I can get quite emotional... so, not surprisingly, I got a bit tearful and suddenly felt like a fool for ever having left London.

A day later, I saw my old London flat advertised on FB (I'm probably spending too much time on FB...)...
A sign?!

running out of wardrobe space....

I am LOVING my sewing machine at the moment. Mostly anyway. I also hate it quite a bit at times. But it's so nice to have finished another garment.

This time, I did a sleeveless version of the New Look pattern 6145. I made a version with sleeves two years ago, as one of my first projects.

I used bias binding on the armholes instead of the armhole facing the way it was described in the pattern and they turned out rather well, I think. I had issues with inserting the zip. Firstly, I have a terrible memory for things and keep having to revisit techniques even though I have used them before. This time, I used this tutorial and it went quite well, except for the bottom of the zip, which I just couldn't get right and couldn't work out either why the result looked shit. In the end, I did a bit of handsewing and I think it worked.

The neck facing was also much too long. No idea how that happened. I can't imagine that I would have accidentally cut out a wrong size... I again used French seams, which turned out lovely. I had shortened the dress a little, taking my existing dress as a guide, but I now feel that it turned out a little too short. It somehow 'feels' shorter than it looks in the picture. If that makes any sense...

Overall, I am very happy with the result :-)

close up of my French seams and my bias binding armholes

mixing it up

I can't paint but I enjoy the process. I had painted a couple of pictures for my hallway and was getting tired of them. So, I did a new one. Which didn't quite turn out as wanted, but it's pink.

New and old

too late?

While the first version of this dress literally took me months to finish, I did the second one in just a couple of days. I am particularly pleased with the bias binding at the neck and armholes. The pattern advised to use bias strips of the same fabric, but I decided to use a soft pink instead to contrast the dark blue.

It's been again raining non stop the last couple of days though with temperatures below 20C, so I am not sure I'll get to wear this this year...

I LOVE the fabric. And it's a crappy photo as per usual...

clever non-planning

The weather is really changeable this summer. Monday was another nice and sunny and hot day - with Tuesday being cold and rainy again. So, my plan was to check out a couple of lakes near Rosenheim on Monday morning, trying to beat the crowds. When I woke at 8:30 though, I decided that lying in bed was preferable after all...

When I eventually got up, I had a message from a friend, asking whether I wanted to go to the lake in the evening. Perfectly not planned! We spent two hours at Floriansee, with hardly anyone else around, soaking up the last rays of sunshine. Lovely!

Ha!

Another German lesson, seriously testing my patience.

It's an interesting dynamic: his wife's German is really bad and the way she looks at me, I doubt that she understands much of what I say. But I am able to display angelic patience with her. It's his attitude and his constant 'I know' that drives me up the wall. The constant excuses for his mistakes, which are never just him not remembering. This time, he complained about his wife and decided that I had to teach them separately, as she was supposedly the reason he couldn't focus.

Every lesson, he wants to start at the beginning of the book again. And while there surely is value in going over stuff, we are also wasting a lot of time, I feel. And it meant that yesterday we didn't do anything new at all.

In the end, he promised me to revise in time for our next lesson - for my sake (I did point out that he is learning for his own sake - admittedly he has probably realized that he will otherwise give me a heart attack, so I guess he IS doing it for my sake!). And that he would surprise me next week. We shall see... I do wonder whether being tough with him, motivates him. While I sit there, feeling like screaming at him, I do constantly repeat to myself, that I need to detach from the outcome of the lesson. And that if the only thing we do each lesson is to say How are you? to each other, so be it. But it remains tough.

sloooooooooow sewing

I had cut out this pattern months ago. I think the reason, I left it un-sewn at the time, was my worry to destroy the silk-like fabric in the process. Of course, not doing anything with it, makes much more sense. In a parallel universe. Somewhere.

Anyhow, as I am on a sewing roll, I finally tackled this project and here's the result:

Burda 6914, version A; I decided not to bother with the pleats at the bottom of the dress -
not least as it's on the tight side on my legs already...

In this case, I feel it looks nicer in the photo than in reality... I am pleased that I even made the effort to use a button with the same fabric (one of these easy clip in buttons - no idea what they are actually called). Making the thread loop (left) was a new experience and a tedious one. As you can see, I ran out of thread half way through and overall, it doesn't look very tidy. I also used my newly learned French seam technique. With limited success, as I didn't use the correct seam allowance, meaning that some of the fabric comes through on the side seams. But I couldn't be asked to redo it. I will simply count on people not looking too closely. Lastly, I lined the dress, which worked ok-ish. I decided not to use an understitch. I might add that later, especially at the neck opening.

Overall, I really like the simplicity and how it falls, so have started on making another version already.

my pretty bum

I got this Knicker Making Kit as a present from T and given my sewing room mess, I had forgotten I even had it until recently. Such a fun present! And yes, I see nothing wrong with sewing my own knickers!

I love the fabric pattern. As you can see, I was too lazy to sew on the little ribbon bow. Well, my official reasoning is that I don't like bows showing through my clothes. But who am I kidding?!

yum!

I made a really nice curry the other day: adding a bit of peanut butter to my coconut milk vegetable curry (courgette, apple, raisins, tofu). I'll definitely cook that again. And my rice turned out perfectly. If I may say so myself (my last attempt was a mushy mash).

French seams

My first French seams! I have to admit that I had never bothered to check how exactly you actually do French seams - and they are actually really easy*. As the fabric I was using is fraying like hell, I figured this would be a good move. Also a good opportunity to FINALLY unpack the overlocker. And try to figure out how to work it as there are a few seams that need overlocking.

The whole project was a pain. I couldn't make sense of the instructions and actually changed quite a few things. Scared of ruining the fabric, I decided to use press buttons thus avoiding sewing button holes.

Most annoyingly, after all the hassle, I am not sure I like the final garment very much. Having said that, I am pleased to say that the sewing mojo is back! Every time, I put things down to take a break or leave the rest for the next day, I went back to it after just a few minutes, eager to finish it off.

I still have to sew buttons and buttonholes to the cuffs. Not sure whether I will bother though as I prefer to have shirts unbuttoned anyway.

As it's difficult to see much on the photo above,
here's the pattern for the details

* well, the technique itself is easy. Putting into practice needs more practice for sure...as I saw in my next project. I'm on a sewing roll!

** unbuttoned cuffs - not generally unbuttoned!

refreshing

This summer has been a bit weird and not quite as summery as last year's. So when they announced 30C for Thursday (with temperatures significantly dropping again on Friday and non-stop rain) I decided to finally work on my tan at the Simssee. I even got up early-ish to get there for about 9:30. Which was perfect as it was still pretty empty then, despite the school holidays having started. I was also there before some cheeky chap collected 2€ for parking!!! I do wonder whether he just takes a punt there as I had been told that parking is free.

Anyhow, the water was great! Pretty warm and the warmer it got it offered a refreshing break from sunbathing. Given my paranoia about my stuff being stolen, I only dipped in briefly, for a quick swim but it was really nice and if the weather recovers again, I will definitely be back.
AND I managed to find my way back home without my (useless) satnav!

be specific

I don't learn.
Next time: be very specific about what I complain about/wish for.
How about:
I never win big bucks (aka >100,000 €) in the lottery.
Wait and see.

more complaining

Seems that I got it wrong all this time! I slept really well last night. Maybe I need to share all my complaints here on this blog for positive change to come about!

Here I go: For once I have no plans for this weekend, which is quite odd and just the thought about it bores me.

insomnia

For the last few weeks, I have had problems going to sleep. I currently of course have the luxury of being able to sleep in most days, but surprisingly, I wake up relatively early anyway. I don't feel tired during the day but I do miss getting a good night sleep. Even my trusted sleep hypnosis app isn't working.

Well, not much I can do about it but trust that it will get better soon.

all I need is ... Schnitzel

It's been a bit of a struggle to get a date in the diary and after about three weeks, we finally managed to meet up for a Schnitzel at the Erlensee. And once again I am realizing that all I need is good food and company.

over in a flash

Short trip to Amsterdam for a job interview. I'll keep details on that one for a later stage. Or never. We shall see.

I was pleasantly surprised as I had forgotten just how picturesque* the city is. The crazy cyclists were annoying at times though, I was never quite sure who had right of way and whether they are allowed to cross a red traffic light or are just very daring.

I stayed at The Toren, rated no.1 hotel in Amsterdam on Tripadvisor. Despite booking at short notice, I got a decent rate for a 4* hotel. And while the hotel 'warned' me about the size of the room, it was really nice and the bed bigger than a single bed which meant I was able to sleep all right.

I only had an afternoon and a morning (spent at the Moco), so I primarily walked about the city centre and concluded that in terms of shopping facilities, I could totally see myself living here! :-)

The Toren - very cute and stylish boutique hotel!

Not exactly great weather -
but I am happy as long as it doesn't rain and I am not freezing

Dinner for one at Ramses - loved the high ceiling and windows
and the steak was also yummy!

*I learned this in French class at school. Why on earth do I remember details like that?

I cannot resist

The sale is still on. I have plenty of handbags but couldn't resist. Shopping does make me happy. There is no shame in that, is there?

<€22 for both. not bad. 

Moco

I only had a few hours before having to get to the airport and I decided to check out the Warhol - Banksy exhibition at the Moco (Modern Contemporary) museum. The museum is new and only opened this April. With €12.50 it was cheaper than the Banksy exhibition currently going on at a Munich gallery (lots of controversy about that, too - €20??!).

I enjoyed it. At the same time, it made me feel lacking. Lacking in the courage to speak out, to stand up for what I believe in, and to work towards a better world (as lofty as that sounds).

On my way back to the hotel, I passed a group of musicians who were busking to quite a crowd. And the thought popped into my head that what I would like to achieve in my life is putting something beautiful out to the world, that makes people feel happier. Now I only need to identify what I mean by 'something beautiful'. Getting there, step by step.