fortune awaits

I'm not sure whether the same saying in English exists, but in German we say that shards (from anything broken) bring good fortune. So, here I am, eagerly awaiting what good fortune will come my way 😤

This is what happens when you drop a mug
on your beautiful plate when washing up.
Which surely goes to prove my point that washing up is evil 😠

soaking up the sun

What an awesome week! 

Even though I am not sure it really is more than 20°, it certainly is warm and so nice in the sun.

Catching up with a friend, sitting outside, having coffee and watching the world go by. 💖

Belated welcome to Bavaria

Earlier in the week I attended a presentation about the school system in Bavaria (related to my new volunteering role). On arrival, I ran straight into Petra who I know from the NLP class. One of the signs of having 'arrived' somewhere is to have a big enough network of people that you start meeting them on different occasions.

Secondly, the majority of people present, including the presenter (the headmaster of a school) were Bavarians, with a proper Bavarian accent. I was sitting there, smiling to myself and felt that I had truly arrived in the Bavarian community.
Give it a few more years, and I might even be able to say a few words in Bavarian myself! 😎

summertime

What a beautiful day it was on Sunday. Still cold unfortunately, but sunny and blue sky-ed.
And how better to spend the day than with nice food and a walk along the Inn?
Do you know that feeling of timelessness? Sitting and enjoying the present moment when everything feels light and happy.
And there was also food, of course, but sorry no picture again.

the Erlensee

overcoming the fear

I love making plans. I love having plans. And still, occasionally, I just want to crawl into bed and not leave my flat at all.
I had such a moment Friday night/Saturday morning and am so glad that I resisted the urge to cancel meeting a new friend.

Off I went to the Schliersee. About 40 minute a drive, fighting to get up the hill in second gear... I was swearing profusely, among others to NEVER drive there EVER again... So, on the way back, I decided to try the route via the Autobahn. Not my favourite thing to do in the dark, as I hate driving onto the Autobahn, always fearing that the car that I think drives in the left lane, is actually on the right lane, the one I want to drive onto.

Anyhow, I am pleased to say that I got home safely. And quite frankly, the view at the lake was so pretty, that already shortly after arriving, I had overturned my decision and I will most certainly go back again!

pictures never come close to the actual beauty of this area!

And there was also food - salad with smoked fish. Not my usual choice but very yummy!

let me help you

On Wednesday I attended another NLP practice evening at the Inntal Institute. For once (?), I decided to allow myself an easy ride as observer (as opposed to being coach). Given what is currently going on, I figured that I was too preoccupied with my own issues. And what can I say: I actually enjoyed it.

At the end of the session, I had a little chat with Ralf and was more than delighted when he asked whether (actually, I think he said 'when' and not 'whether') I'd be interested in attending an NLP Basis weekend as assistant. I had actually considered this myself but had somehow forgotten about it. I think it'll be a fun way to go over the basics as well as being able to support other people in getting to know more about NLP.

So, if they are still looking for people, I might get my first 'gig' in early May. A week before my final practitioner course - which will be a great exercise prior to the dreaded testing.

on and off

I did a version of this New Look 6301 pattern before but weirdly cannot find it on my blog.
Either way, last time, I picked a stretchy fabric and went with my standard straight/pencil skirt. When I saw Tash's version, I decided to do another version with a floaty skirt.

I cannot remember where and when I bought the fabric either, nor how much it cost. It's kind of a burnt velvet, I'd say. I used my overlock to make the inside seams look all tidy and pretty. And as part of that had to replace one of the cones. A tricky undertaking. And the new thread kept tearing too, meaning I had to re-thread it about five times... And couldn't work out what I was doing wrong. Fingers crossed, it's fixed now!

I've been asked before how long it takes me to finish a garment. And I honestly have no clue. When I start a project, I generally do the pattern and fabric cutting in one sitting. For the sewing though, I often sit at my machine on and off. Sometimes just 15 minutes at a time, to finish one step and to then take a break again. Also depending on how temperamental my machine is (aka how clumsy I am being...), which can put me off quickly. Given that sewing is a hobby only and not something I would want to earn money with, I feel it's kind of irrelevant how long it takes me. As long as I enjoy the process.
Or at least most of it

I am aware that it's difficult to see any of the details...

a gift

My rose quartz bracelet arrived the other day. And it is beautiful. For many reasons.
First of all, many thanks to Laura from The Will 2 Wow who created a self love challenge on facebook and who I am very grateful for having 'met'. She is simply a beautiful person and has an amazing presence.

Not only did I enjoy the challenge immensely (my guess is that the majority of people would benefit from a bit more self love - I certainly know that I do!), to then get such a great gift was an added bonus.

Moreover, this of course comes at the right time. Just as things always come and happen at just the right time, of course. I am grateful for the beauty in my life. And grateful also for being able to see the beauty even when things are not as ros-y as I might want them to be.

I really do know how to take great pictures.... not

positive intentions

One of the assumptions in NLP is that every behaviour has a positive intention (for the one who is behaving).
Here's my question:
Why do so many people find it easier and more comfortable to stick with their negative view of the world/their life/certain circumstances rather than to try to at least entertain the possibility that there is another way of viewing it.
How does it help being stuck in negativity about the future that is anyway uncertain for all of us?

Don't get me wrong, I can be a drama queen par excellence. I have my moments. I know what it's like to feel shit, hopeless and pessimistic. And that's why I also know the difference when I tell that voice to shut up.

One of the most powerful ways to change your life is by simply changing your thoughts. It really is incredible. Of course that doesn't mean that the pain will vanish over night. But it means that it will be that tiny bit easier to bear. And it might even free up brain capacities to figure out ways to improve things ever so slightly.

counting pennies

A friend of mine is a wizard when it come to grocery shopping: he knows all the prices by heart. Say, you want to know how much a a loaf of bread costs, a litre of milk or pasta. He'll be able to tell you.
I on the other hand have no clue whatsoever. I honestly don't even have a vague idea how much a litre of milk costs. Admittedly, I'd think a fiver might be a little expensive...

Grocery prices are on the of the things I have a non-existent memory for. My logic is: I will buy the pasta anyway, so why would I need to get upset that the price has increased by x% since last month? I do compare the prices of what is on offer, partly cause it helps my decision making.

The other day, I saw that green asparagus were on offer at Netto for €2.99 (here's the irony: I don't care about prices but for some reason I enjoy looking at the supermarket leaflets that most people trhwo into the bin immediately...). In my attempt to eat more healthily, I got some. By coincidence, I saw some at Rewe, too - which were €4.99 - now that is a price difference even I noticed! And it did make me wonder whether it'd be worth comparing prices after all.
I of course quickly discarded that idea... too much effort...

every cloud...?

This is of course not new - but certain things, especially when it comes to illness, puts life into perspectives, doesn't it?
All the little, unimportant things that often manage to frustrate me and get me really angry - are just not worth even thinking about.

As all my friends and most people who have just met me will probably confirm, I love to talk. For once though, I don't feel the need to talk about this at all. Talking will not change it. And it won't make me feel any better or relieved or anything else. It is what it is.

I can't even really express how I feel right now. Yes, there is sadness, and fear at times. And worry about what else my mum will have to go through. But then at times, it just feels as if there is nothing.
And there is this feeling of living in the present in the best possible way. Why bother wasting time fretting about the future? Who knows what is round the corner anyway. And why worry about scenarios that might not even happen. And even if they do, we can all deal with them when they occur.

This has somehow become a bit of a mantra that I've been telling my mum: to have faith that whatever comes next, she - and all of us - will be able to handle somehow.
That doesn't mean that it won't suck though...

circle of life...

A couple of weeks ago, my niece was born.
A week ago, my mum went into hospital with pneumonia. Her health declined rapidly, the hallucinations came back. And I booked the train to go and see her.
By the time I arrived, she had recovered physically and mentally - compared to earlier in the week. And then we got the diagnosis that the cancer had spread and they had found metastases in her lung.
She is sticking with her decision not to have any further chemotherapy. And without being a medic, I feel that she is way too frail and weak anyway to be able to deal with chemo.

We are now waiting for more detailed information from the oncologist now.

the door

The other night I dreamed again about a door that cannot be locked. When I woke up, I realized that this is a recurring theme in my dreams.
Google says: a door that cannot be locked signifies change that is outside my control or that cannot be overturned.

Well, that is part of everyone's life, right?

childhood memories

A date that ends with self-made cheesecake that tastes exactly like the one I used to get for my birthday as a kid. What more could you wish for? 🍰

P.S.: I believe this is a totally acceptable reason to interrupt my lent-fasting!!

5 out of 7

And another NLP Practitioner weekend under my belt. Very interesting as usual.
With regard to myself, I start getting the feeling that they all boil down to the same issue. Which I guess could be regarded as a good thing, as it means I can use the same strategy to solve them all. In reality though I am getting bored with discovering the same solution again and again. Quite possibly, cause I'd prefer to find a quicker way to get there rather than practicing patience...

Yes, he is!

I didn't win the date with Idris, but I can now sleep with him 💘

Coaching the coach

During our practice evening, I was being coach again. And as much as I get frustrated myself, I also love it! It offers so  much opportunity to learn. This time my biggest 'revelation' was how impatient I get with lengthy NLP formats. I want things to go quickly and I fear that my own impatience transfers to my clients. And secondly, in the setting of my fellow NLP-course attendees, I constantly worry what they might be thinking about my skills. Based on conversation that is quite possibly bullshit, and I am quite possibly the only one who - when being a client - wastes her time to 'assess' my coach's abilities.

The biggest win surely is that instead of wasting my time with being frustrated with myself, I celebrate the opportunity to further improve 👍
Good times!

Go me!

As you might know, I am working on overcoming my aversion to driving. The other day, I was attending a privately organized NLP practice evening which took place in Munich. Initially, it was clear to me that I would take the train. Then I checked google maps and I basically only had to drive straight ahead once on the autobahn. So, I figured, I'd give it a go. My first time driving into Munich!!!

In order to make myself feel safer, I checked with the host how to access the car park. Who then suggested that I could take the train and she'd give me a lift back home. What a dilemma!!! Not only would that have been very convenient, it would have also offered the chance to get to know her a bit better and also have company on the way home.

I am very proud to say that I stuck with my plan.
And while I certainly wasn't relaxed when driving, it also wasn't as bad as expected. I even overtook some cars and didn't drive at an average speed of 90km/h as I usually do.
Babysteps...

The wink - flashback

This post was left half finished at the time (summer 2014). There had been clearly too many great things happening 😍 So I finished writing it now, 2.5 years later. Seems my memory isn't all bad yet! Even though I cannot actually remember which of my colleagues told me I was perfect. Which of course means that I think several of them thought of me as perfect 😉
Here you go:

May I recommend that you stop reading now? This will be one of these posts that are really just for myself. It's a collection of some of the lovely memories from recent weeks. I'm sure I will very much enjoy re-reading them at some point in the future, especially if (ok, when) I need a pick-me-up. It's bound to bring a smile to my face. For you the reader on the other hand, this will probably make for some obnoxious reading...: so, please look away now! (You have been warned!)

* My colleague telling me that I'm just perfect the way I am
* My project management skills being in demand (in exchange for money even)
* Being wined and dined by lovely people
* Making new friends (who are still with me, 2.5 years later!)
* Getting a big hug from the only man I personally know who pulls off wearing braces
* Being chauffeured around the beautiful sites of Capetown and surroundings by our generous darling president
* Meeting the Dean of an Australian university and being told that meeting me was the highlight of his week (yes, yes, I easily fall for charming comments that others might perceive as sleazy...)
* Exploring new job opportunities and others having confidence in my abilities when I didn't
* Being A's plus 1 at the dinner, feeling special and thus avoiding sitting with certain other people during said dinner 😌
* Celebrating a win that I had worked on for years together with my team
* And last but not least: the wink. In a room full of people for everyone to see but just for me

creativity

I bought a set of 'intuition' cards recently. Every time I pulled a card though, it didn't really speak to me. For the weekend, I pulled a card about being creative. Which totally fitted the plans I had already made before I pulled the card though...

I replaced my corridor art (here and here) with some new paintings this weekend:

I actually saw this (in a completely different style though) as a tattoo recently.
And figured it was useful information to have for everyone to see who enters my flat 😎

This I saw as a t-shirt print and felt it was so fitting!

And these are photos I took at the Chiemsee printed onto canvas, thanks to a special offer at XXL posters for just €15 a piece.
They are hung up straight by the way, it's just the angle that makes them look wonky...

fresh supplies

for my overlock ❤

when life sucks big time

Even before Casey won his Oscar, I very much wanted to go see Manchester by the sea. And I was delighted when I found out that a small independent cinema in Prien was showing it in original version with German subtitles. I recall a film with Casey where I could hardly understand a word he was saying... As it happens, I could understand them very well, which was just as well given that I couldn't read the subtitles as they were blocked by people's heads in front of me...

Despite the very sad story, I really enjoyed the film. The flashbacks, the way the story was revealed bit by bit. The contrast in Casey then and now. The way life somehow goes on after death. Different people having different ways of dealing with death.
And so much sadness.
Go watch it!

ah well...

In order to sew, I have to be in the mood. And that is something that comes and goes. Similar to many things in life. Only that for sewing I am excellent at accepting this and not trying to force anything.

I started this dress a little while ago and finally finished it. Not without issues, of course. I inserted the zip by hand. Given the fabric's pattern, it was tricky to pick a colour for the thread. In the end I went with an off-white. You can of course see the tiny stitched when you look closely (which of course other than me, nobody really does!). 

I was so proud of the bias binding I used on the armholes. Only to be utterly disappointed when I tried it on and the armholes were gaping and wonky. I swear that that was not visible when just holding the dress up. No idea why this happened but I am assuming that the fabric of the dress and the binding somehow didn't go together.

You may imagine my joy at undoing the seams of the bloody binding. Much fun. Not.

Anyhow, it's all done now. And it makes a difference to the relatively plain pencil style skirts and dresses I usually do. I had already done a lighter, summery version of this pattern but did a higher neckline on this version.

Menschen 2017 - February 2017

Reminder: Menschen 2017
A much shorter list. But it was a shorter month...

Julie - for a sort of job interview
People at the Toastmaster event - I'll count the five who I actually interacted with in some form
Petra - from NLP coaching practice
Silvia - from a volunteering project


January 2017 - 17
February 2017 - 8
New total: 25

2017 resolutions - February review

My 2017 resolutions
January review

1) exercise: very much on track! Exercising four times a week. NLP is proving very useful indeed!

2) healthy eating: Until recently, I was considering removing this from my list altogether as I was clearly not motivated to tackle this one properly. To the contrary, February has been marked by stuffing my face with sweets and crisps, mainly out of boredom. BUT the last few days, I have actually been cooking. I made a little trip to the Asian supermarket, did a yummy curry of sorts and made my first baba ganoush. And I am indeed determined to give up something for lent. So, there is hope that March will be a better month!

3) less moaning: I'd like to think I am still doing very well here. Especially considering a certain event this month, I am proud to say that I handled it rather well.  

4) travel: Still on the backburner. But that is totally ok for me and for now.

5) less time on the internet/mindfulness: hm... After my initial enthusiasm, I let the meditation practice drop again and now my gift subscription for headspace has run out. Secondly, I have been feeling so bored lately, that I spent even more time doing mindless surfing. Again, I plan to get back on track again during lent.

lent - let's do this!

I figured that training my willpower will be a good idea.

Here's my plan for lent:
1) No more sweets. This includes chocolate, biscuits and cake and pastries. Only exception (cause, let's bear in mind that my other objective is to have more fun in life! ✌) is when I am eating out. Then I shall allow myself dessert/cake - well anything I fancy 😎

2) No dairy. Ok, this will be super tough. But as recommended by my osteopath I will give it a try.

3) No coffee. Same exception as for sweets: I will allow myself a coffee when I am out. And I will try to remember to order it with soy milk.

This should help with my New Year's resolution no. 2 aka healthy eating.
Maybe that's another idea: to focus on one of my resolutions each month... February was all about exercising. And January about not moaning.
Maybe I will need new resolutions soon!