This is of course not new - but certain things, especially when it comes to illness, puts life into perspectives, doesn't it?
All the little, unimportant things that often manage to frustrate me and get me really angry - are just not worth even thinking about.
As all my friends and most people who have just met me will probably confirm, I love to talk. For once though, I don't feel the need to talk about this at all. Talking will not change it. And it won't make me feel any better or relieved or anything else. It is what it is.
I can't even really express how I feel right now. Yes, there is sadness, and fear at times. And worry about what else my mum will have to go through. But then at times, it just feels as if there is nothing.
And there is this feeling of living in the present in the best possible way. Why bother wasting time fretting about the future? Who knows what is round the corner anyway. And why worry about scenarios that might not even happen. And even if they do, we can all deal with them when they occur.
This has somehow become a bit of a mantra that I've been telling my mum: to have faith that whatever comes next, she - and all of us - will be able to handle somehow.
That doesn't mean that it won't suck though...
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