NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My hopes of a date with Idris Elba have been squashed - for now anyway.
Somebody else got lucky and won the date via omaze. Good for her!

it's all about YOU

Where to start...

The biggest learning from my last coaching session was to be more conscious of my automatic mind-reading. And how is this for progress: 

I did well on active listening. 

Except for an introduction, I let the client talk the majority of the time.

And after the session, the client said to me how coaching is all about her. How she could also talk to a friend, but that in that situation it's always about both people. But this was all about her.
The way it should be, of course, but what a great feedback for me? When this was exactly what I was focusing on!

Secondly, she said that she would absolutely be prepared to pay for this and even put a price tag on it which was higher than what I had decided on (prior to the session).

The session was another reminder how we can never know somebody's life story. The stuff we all carry around with us, and which they might never share with us, is immense.

And lastly: a little while ago, I got the feedback that I am a fast learner, that I am able to implement new learnings very quickly. At the time, I didn't really buy it. But since then, I have felt my viewpoint shifting and can now see how I have taken this for granted in a lot of situations. When really, it is one of my strength and has been since I was a kid.

Oh, and here's further proof that NLP works on a very practical level:
When I originally met her, I had apparently talked about my problem of keeping my flat tidy and how I had used an NLP exercise to work on it. When she said goodbye, she noted that she thought my flat was very tidy indeed and that she cannot see an issue there at all.
There you go!
And no, I hadn't spent hours before she arrive to tidy up 😉

lent

When I am bored, I eat. In an attempt to control my boredom-eating, I am considering giving up something for lent. I haven't quite decided what yet. Whatever I pick, I want to give it a proper go rather than making exceptions left, right and centre.

Top of my list are sweets at the moment. As well as dairy (my osteopath suggested giving it a go - but the prospect of no cheese is a tough one for me!).

I am sure you will agree that it makes absolute sense to stuff my face with anything chocolate before lent starts, right?

Ironically, I don't even eat a lot of chocolate normally.
I tend to buy it and then forget it's there.  But at the moment....

thanks, my dear

At the every yoga practice the instructor invites us to offer thanks to our bodies.
What a nice thought that is. It sounds obvious but in daily life, my body is generally the cause of complaints (primarily back pain, but I also find other non-issues to complain about). When really, I should be thankful for it carries me through life. Especially when I get caught up in the most superficial body issues, I shall try to remind myself of all the amazing stuff my body does for me. Once I have real issues to deal with, I can still change my tune...

yellowness

*hyper, hyper*

I had another amazing coaching experience tonight. The Inntal Institute offers free practice evenings. One of the ladies who does the NLP Practitioner Course with me had said that she was going to attend for the first time today, which motivated me to also attend. Interestingly, she had been encouraged by yet somebody else from the course - nice little domino effect!

Anyhow, of course I had thought about what I wanted to get out of it. I came prepared with a couple of topics I could have worked on as client. But then during the introductory round decided that really what I wanted to push myself to, was to coach somebody. And what better challenge than to coach somebody who is already further advanced with regard to NLP.

1.5 hours can be a long time and it was demanding for sure. But it also felt great! And because I felt good and pleased with my work, I could - for a change - also accept the lovely feedback I got from the trainer as well as from the 'observer'.

Biggest learning or rather reminder:
I need to stop my 'mind-reading' activities. The client's result was nothing I had anticipated. Instead, I had been focused for a while on how I would solve the issue and what it could possibly mean for me. Based on the feedback, I did well in dissociating myself in the situation or at least not verbalizing that I was associating myself. So, that's progress, I think!

When I got home, I had a message from a girl I met a few weeks ago and hadn't heard from since then, who now asked whether I'd have to time to coach her.
Of course I do!!!
The timing is perfect, of course. And restores my faith that everything is going in the right direction. Even if I do feel bored occasionally.

Only downside to this all is that I am feeling super hyper now as I usually do after having coached.
So hyper, that I finished off some work. Which of course means that I can afford a proper lie in tomorrow 😎

Abschied auf Raten - flashback

Lone wolf? Me? That feels like very far from how I currently feel!
Written in January 2015:

I've been thinking of quitting my job for a long time. Well, quite possibly from the day I started. It's safe to say that I've found it challenging. Over the years, challenges took on different forms, circumstances changed, my job changed massively. And as much as those things made me want to leave on occasion, they also contributed to me staying. Looking back, I have learned so much. I've gained confidence, my outlook on my professional life has changed. The way I see myself has changed. And of course this isn't entirely due to my job, but it has certainly triggered a lot of development.

I remember how in the first few years, I often felt that everything was a battle. Just like I had felt that a lot of my life until then had been a constant battle that I had been fighting all by myself. And I was getting tired. Looking back at the more recent years, I see how my 'network' has grown and I feel much more supported. I do wonder how much that is due to me letting other people support me, as opposed to being the 'lone wolf' I very often thought I was. 

The decision to actually leave is now taken and for the first time it feels absolutely right. No more doubts. For a number of reasons, I will be staying until the summer though. I have been telling a few people already as I wanted them to find out from me, rather than through an official route. 

One of the nice messages I got: 

"Very sorry to hear you are leaving. I've really enjoyed working with you and knowing you. And I hope we keep in touch."

I am very happy that not only have I been doing a great job but I've also made friends. 

T2

It's no secret that I am not keen on cooking. So, I was of course delighted to be invited for dinner at V's. And how exciting to try a new dish, too: a South African dish called Bobotie, prepared by J. I personally like fruit in savoury dishes, so this was right up my street. Nicely accompanied by rice and salad. A healthy balanced meal for a change!

This was just the prelude to the main event of the evening: T2 Trainspotting, Danny Boyle's sequel almost 21 years after the iconic Trainspotting was released.

Admittedly, I only watched Trainspotting once and given my superior memory could hardly remember anything... Thanks to Wikipedia, I was up to speed with the main plot at least before enjoying the film in original version in pretty empty cinema here in Rosenheim.

I enjoyed it. And relieved that I at least understood the majority of the Scottish accent.

As per usual, I won't bother to try to write a proper review. But here are two review if you'd like to know more:
The Guardian Review
The Telegraph Review

indoor weekend

Despite the sunny Sunday, I spent most of my weekend at home on my sofa. A tiny bit of me felt guilty. But the other massive part accepted that this is exactly how I wanted to spend my time. And  in all fairness (fairness to myself), I did leave the house, too!

Only two more episodes of Luther left to watch. And Idris has started creeping into my dreams. After watching a couple of episodes on Friday evening, I woke up in the middle of the night, suspiciously eyeing my bedroom door, still half asleep, of course. And my half asleep brain told me that the best thing to do IF there was somebody in my flat was to pretend to be asleep...

Interestingly, those relatively quiet few days made me feel that overall last week had been unproductive. Then - as I learned how to do this lately - I took a step back and found quite a few things I had done to prove myself wrong. Despite the 'factual proof, the impression of un-productivity remains somehow.
My mind is a funny thing.

19.5

19.5 months ago I moved to Rosenheim. And really I should stop complaining about the lack of restaurants while there are still places I've never been to! Only last week did I discover Al Patio - a small Latin American restaurant, I wasn't aware existed!

We shared some pumpkin fritters and then I had an interesting dish, consisting of a Chilean bolognese, with pieces of chicken, olives, hard boiled eggs and covered with a sweet corn mash.
It was unusual and tasty and for just 10.50EUR a bargain, too. Unfortunately, it didn't agree with my tummy...

I'll be back to try their empanadas though!

gentle, sadistic yoga support

Not sure what has been happening this week - but it's been a sporty one! After swimming AND yoga on Monday, pilates on Wednesday, I went to a second yoga class on Thursday. well, primarily, because I realized that my 'point-card' will expire in a short while and I didn't want to waste my money. Whatever motivates me, right?!

So, I tried their back yoga class and was ecstatic when the instructor announced that we'd be going easy on ourselves today. Beautiful! And it started off really well. Until the belt came out. And I had to acknowledge that my hamstrings need a lot of stretching which supposedly is directly linked to my back and which consequently makes a lot of sense for me to keep pushing.

Lovely instructor saw my issues and lovingly pushed me into the pose. Which hurt considerably but at least made me feel that I was achieving something... Switching off and focusing on being in the yoga moment isn't coming easily, so my brain was busy thinking thoughts. And of course I came back to one of my clearly deep seated beliefs that only if something is hard work, it's worth something. And I realized that I am applying this 'rule' to exercising, too. Which probably is one of the main reasons I am so reluctant to do any sports.
Ah, the mind is a funny thing.

Safe, safer, Rosenheim

... or: What's with the memory loss?

The last few days, I keep waking up around 3:00am. Which of course means, I am tired relatively early in the evening. Which just reinforces the cycle of falling asleep earlier than usual, and then waking up in the middle of the night.

On the upside, it meant realizing at about 2:00am the other night, that I had left my kitchen window wide open. I had opened it BEFORE brushing my teeth, with the objective to close it again AFTER brushing my teeth. Which then slipped my mind.
Given that I live on the ground floor, anyone could have easily climbed in.
Oops....😶

self-development

So much is happening at the moment, primarily inside my head...
I came across this list of "5 things to quit right now" - and unfortunately cannot remember where I read it. But I can declare it's not from me.

1) Trying to please everyone

2) Fearing change

3) Living in the past

4) Putting yourself down

5) Overthinking

All good advice, I'd say!

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

In the spirit of inviting and creating more fun in my life, I finally went to the local pool on yesterday. Monday is warm water day as well as ladies sauna day. I went just after 9:00 and unfortunately it was relatively full already which made swimming a little tricky. But I did my 20 lengths as I had planned and then went to relax in the sauna. Or tried to relax...

Which wasn't too busy, but it seems that the elderly ladies regularly go and meet there on Mondays. And they basically ignored the sauna etiquette. Thus there was a constant chattering. In the end, I was sweating in the infra red cabin, which is part of the pool. Next time, I might give the sauna a miss altogether.

Then in the evening, I went to flow yoga (aerial yoga was cancelled due to a bereavement). I had never done this particular class and was a bit anxious whether it'd be too hard, as I had heard that a certain level of experience was necessary. But I was lucky, and the class was rather easy, apparently something to do with the recent full moon...

So, all in all, I am very proud of myself: two units of sports in just one day! Only two more for the rest of the week needed now to keep to my plan. 😎

go with the flow

NLP Practitioner weekend no. 4.
As with all the other weekends, there was so much information to take on. So many things happening inside and outside. A lot of familiar frustrations with myself, but equally celebratory emotions that aren't quite as familiar as the frustrations - but not entirely new either. Which feels like a massive win for me.

Ralf is an amazing trainer.

In the end, I left with my metaphor of a river. Accepting that the stones in the river, which I sometimes see as obstacles in the way, actually bring a lot of change and excitement and speed. Instead of resisting those challenges, I am more and more beginning to see them as opportunities to learn. Having the confidence that after those rocks, a period of calmness awaits and also that I am able to get through it, is maybe all it needs. And the willingness to let go of trying to control my life at all times and to simply go with the flow.

Nobody is watching - flashback

February 2014. Nothing much has changed here... Even if I don't remember what situation I was referring to at this point in time.

I would love to be the centre of everyone's attention. In theory.
But in reality, the thought of a group of people - even a small group of people - looking at me, makes me very nervous and terrifies me really.

What I've come to realize though, is that when I am in that moment all these stupid thoughts about what others might think about me, just stop. I just am. Whatever I am. And at the end of the day, people are probably nowhere near as critical as I dread they might be. And even if they are: who cares really?

So, maybe one day, I won't even be nervous anymore. In the safe knowledge that it will be ok on the day.

just a little prick

I donated blood for the first time, while I was still at school. And managed a grand total of three (in numbers: lousy 3) donations in about 18 years. What a disgrace...

In recent years, I was determined to make it a regular habit.
And - as you may have guessed - I failed. Partly because of my tattoos. After each one, I wasn't allowed to donate blood for five months.

Anyway, I finally went for the fourth time on Monday! Quite a bit of waiting time and having to answer all sorts of questions. Why am I being asked whether I've been anywhere outside of Germany? The lady took a note that I had been to England and Austria. What for exactly? (yes, I should have asked her really, but I didn't want to prolong the time spent there any further)

Then there is also the notes with regard to self-elimination. For example if you spent time in prison. Or are homosexual. Or are promiscuous.
What exactly does the latter mean? How many partners in what amount of time makes somebody promiscuous? And how does that matter if you use protection?
While I understand that they want to try to reduce the risk that somebody who has an illness that is not yet detectable donates blood. But do they not think that people who know that they are at risk, will not donate? And what does it say about what goes in our prisons?

down with the old...

...but does it have to happen right outside my flat?

Admittedly, that does look like quite a fun job! What exactly they've been doing for the past weeks though, I have no idea. Cause half the house seems to have been torn down in just an hour now. Which gives me hope that they'll be done with it soon...

*distinction*

I recently completed a diploma in Emotional Intelligence and passed the assessment with distinction (= 94% 😎). Studying sure is fun!! 💃

I'm a bit behind

In preparation for my Valentine's date with Idris Elba, I finally started watching my Luther boxset, which I bought on my last trip to London. I'm not much of a crime series fan but I am really enjoying it. With scenes of London an added bonus.
Plus simply watching Idris being hunky and sexy is enough to keep me interested, of course.

And for a bit of comedy, here's a clip they did for Sports Relief 2016:

London weather - flashback

blue skies after heavy rainfalls and thunder in the morning;
Royal Victoria with view of the O2; Granary Square; Royal Victoria again with (tiny) Canary Wharf in the distance
October 2014

WOW

I had another great coaching session last week.

And here's part of the testimonial I got (without even having to ask!):

"Thank you so much for that really lovely coaching session. 

You were right on point with me and have given me a great deal to think about.

... you have given me permission to think about other possibilities. 

Thank you thank you thank you"

I am so happy ❤

And once more it goes to show that the answers are all within us. 

so relaxing...

Bavaria is known for its thermal baths. Those and saunas are pretty popular here and somehow I managed to only go once in the past 1.5 years. But as it's never too late to create a new habit, of course, I finally went to the one in Bad Aibling, just a 20 minute car ride from here on Friday.
Having the luxury of being flexible with my time at the moment, I went in the morning and while it wasn't exactly empty, it wasn't busy either.

It was so relaxing. Especially in one of the pools, where they were playing soft music, I could have just fallen asleep in the warm water. Going with a friend was really nice, but equally I am set to go by myself, too, if I can't find anyone to accompany me. I really found it a great way to just chill out and find calmness.

Next I want to try to the one on Prien which has views over the Chiemsee and the castle on the Herreninsel!

How not to chat me up - flashback

From what I recall, I never published this post cause I felt somehow nasty writing about somebody who liked me in this way. And maybe a bit guilty for being so high and mighty about him checking out my number, as I had done something similar before. Of course with a different outcome (and who wouldn't want to receive a message from me?! LOL 👸).

What I wrote back in late 2013/early 2014:

A few weeks ago, I received a whatsapp message from an unknown number:

Your sooooo beautiful everytime I see u I freeze

But one day I will sure tell u how I feel

Flattering? Maybe. But definitely creepy. I did not remember having given out my number to anyone. Putting my Sherlock-esque mind to use, I very quickly figured out that it could only be one of the guys who work at the reception of the apartment block I live in, as my number is on file. I don't need to add that this is of course highly unprofessional. And it creeped me out even more to know that the person was likely to know exactly where I live... The alternative was of course that somebody had meant to contact somebody else, and just noted down a wrong number.

I decided not to reply. And in the evening of the same day, I got another message:
Your not even curious to knw who this is?

Nope, I wasn't. I didn't reply again. And for a week, didn't hear anything. I also didn't pick up my post for a week, as I didn't want to run into him at reception...

Then a week later, he changed his Whatsapp profile pic - to a photo taken of himself, in reception. I wonder whether he thought I might otherwise not recognize who he is. Very creepy, when you suddenly have this person grin at you from your phone...

The next day, he contacted me again:
How was ur day?
I am gonna give u a call this weekend I hope thts ok

To which I replied, that No, it was not ok and how he got my number. To which he replied:
its ok I will delect yo number

Let's hope he meant 'delete'....
I know that I could complain about this, but quite frankly I don't think much would happen other than things getting even more awkward. I do wonder how not replying wasn't enough of a hint. I'm also rethinking my rather recently implemented nice-ness policy. Being a prick to (certain) people might be a better idea after all.

have faith!

When going through old unpublished blog posts, I came across one where I was monitoring my week and an appointment with Linda, a holistic healer.

It was a list of situations that had frustrated me, and my reactions to them, trying not to let my anger get the better of me. Linda's feedback to me was that I had had a tough week and that I should be proud of myself for the way I had dealt with things. She thought I had great insight and that I should trust my abilities.

Not sure whether it's ironic or sad, that about three years later, I had a similar thing said to me by one of the assistants at the NLP course. That I am a quick learner, that I am good at calibrating my 'clients', that I quickly implement new learnings and that I really should trust my abilities more.

The whole subject of me and accepting (positive) feedback is of course a recurring theme. And I am aware that I tend to be 'intrinsic' (thanks to a personality test as well as coaching feedback I've had), meaning that I need to feel that I am doing well, that I did a good job. While positive feedback is nice and I do also crave it at times, when it doesn't fit with my own perception of myself/a situation, it becomes worthless.

I do believe that this is works well for me in some ways. As I shouldn't depend on what other people think of me. The downside - at the moment - is of course, that I am very often robbing myself of the pleasure to simply enjoy a compliment. And that secondly, I too often take negative feedback too seriously. Instead of applying the same filter as I do for positive feedback. Cause just the same way I don't believe the good stuff, the logic should be not to believe the bad stuff either. Or at least not before exploring how it fits in with my own judgment.

top 10 - flashback

Reviewing 2014 back in January 2015. It clearly was an awesome year (just like 2015 and 2016 🎆)!

What I wrote back then:

I was talking to a friend who always makes a top 3 of the year list. I decided to turn that into a top 10 as 2014 just had too many amazing experiences to be condensed into just three things.

1) The views from table mountain on my work trip to Cape Town
2) Running my biggest conference yet and for once feeling proud of myself
3) Winning a trip to Hong Kong
4) Regular massages that kept me sane
5) Our work event in Leicester
6) Sewing (and wearing) my own clothes
7) Learning so much about myself with the help of coaches, mentors and friends
8) Amazing food - and lots of it for free
9) Feeling supported and loved by my friends - old and new
10) My holiday in Australia

flashback series

In my blog post drafts, I have a number of unpublished posts, partly dating back up to three years. For a few I am not sure why I didn't publish them at the time, for others, I remember... But for both categories, I feel it's time to publish them now anyway.

So, over the next few weeks, there will be a few flashback posts appearing here.

the mundane

Temperatures have risen. And the rain has set in. Which meant icy roads over night. And the snow is finally melting away. I have all fingers crossed that we are done with the really cold weather for this winter! If that is not the case, I shall consider buying more appropriate winter shoes...

proof that my winter boots are not waterproof...

my new fluffy slippers, keeping my feet warm and dry at least at home! 😍

Menschen 2017 - January 2017

Reminder: Menschen 2017

Christina - met through a local FB group, OV movie goer
Aimee - My first coaching session of the year. I was recommended to Aimee by another coaching client who I had been recommended to by one of my lovely London friend. I love my network! 😊
Sarah - my new hairdresser who let me sit in silence 💓
Cordula - my aerial yoga teacher
Hubert - Rosenheim Meet Up - Gosh, I do miss the London networking events (I mean, no food??? Seriously??? 😒*)
Tatjana, Dieter, Wencke, Daniela - new NLP attendees/assistants
Rudi and Dominic - two of the attendees at the usability test dinner (I of course met more people there, but I chatted to those two)
Amy and Christine and Diane and Laura- from the fb confident selling challenge
Linda, Rosi and Martina - connecting at a workshop about leading your life your way

Total no: 17

2017 resolutions - January review

As a reminder: my 2017 resolutions

Well...
1) exercise: after my last NLP weekend, I am back on track for now. I have been finding excuses to skip my pilates class though... but this shall change tonight!

2) healthy eating... a big fail. But I've been drinking ~2 litres a day which is quite an achievement for me. Unfortunately, I cannot see it making any difference whatsoever... but I suppose it's not doing any harm either.

3) less moaning has been easy: January has been a happy month! And incidentally, every time I did moan, I hate listening to myself...

4) travel: well, if local travelling counts, I've been doing ok, given the visitors I've had. As for travelling outside of Germany: FAIL and interestingly, I feel no desire at the moment to plan a trip either.

5) less time on the internet/mindfulness: I started meditation again, have been working on my NLP online course, started another course on emotional intelligence and have generally been using my time more productively, including giving coaching sessions. So, I think I am very much on track here!

unexpected results

S came over to Rosenheim on Saturday. After a lengthy breakfast at Dinzler's, we headed back to mine for me to try some NLP on her. Anchoring and finding her meta space.

As I've said many times before, it gets me every time. How such simple exercise can flick a switch within the 'client'. It's emotional, intense and so powerful. It also reminds me of the responsibility you have as a coach. But also about how wonderful it is to be able to help somebody else even just a tiny bit.

And to end this with a banality: after the coaching we went for a walk along the Inn. In the snow. Not sure what I was thinking, but wearing my stylish but flimsy booties was a terrible idea. I got cold feet and kept slipping on the ice... I am a bit ashamed that my instinct was to grab hold of S - who I would have torn down with me, had she not been strong enough 😏

The next day, I went out for a walk again, this time with my hiking boots. And what a revelation: warm feet and no slipping in the snow.
Gosh, I am an idiot at times...