I'm amazing

So I was told last week.

I was invited to somebody's leaving drinks (a work contact). I don't know her very well, so I might be completely wrong about this, but it seemed as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Maybe it's just me, but I do have those days when I really would like to drop just everything and simply walk away. Don't get me wrong, I also fancy myself as a realist and I don't think that the grass is necessarily greener on the other side. But sometimes it just seems easier to make a fresh start. And yes, that may well come with all sorts of other issues.

Before the drinks, I went for a pre-drink with J. It was really nice to chat outside of work. Even if we did end up talking mostly about work. I have to admit that last week was rather stressful but - as I was saying to a friend and in my blog post yesterday - there are also so many positive things happening in my life and I really appreciate all the support I am getting. Sometimes it's just feeling understood that makes all the difference even if it doesn't change anything about the situation at hand.

The balance

I think this is the reason I haven't yet gone bonkers: the balance between the good and the challenging (aka frustrating and driving me crazy) stuff is still firmly tipping towards the good.

On Monday night I was invited to an Excel supporters' club networking event - at the Tower of London. Starting with a private viewing of the Crown Jewels and ending with a drinks and canapes reception.

I'd been to the Tower as a child but couldn't actually remember very much other than it was busy and crowded with tourists... So, being able to see the exhibition in such a relaxed way was awesome! And I was even more impressed by just being inside the Tower and walking around the ground than by all the bling. Especially as it was dark, and the buildings lit up, it was very pretty and a weirdly calm oasis in the bustling city of London. Plus I was able to catch up with J (ok, it was probably more me having a moan...) who used to be our Account Manager at the venue we use for our annual event.

I can never have enough photos of my beloved Tower Bridge!

Food and more food with a side of food

A week full of meetings and calls and more meetings. Which I generally don't mind but it of course means time away from my desk and you return to a ton of emails while still trying to do all the things that need to get done especially with just two weeks to go until our event.

How lovely to end the week with a little bit of food: the tasting for our annual dinner - one of the highlights of my year (is that sad??). After three years at the same venue, it was time for something new, so we'll be at One Great George Street this year. All nicely decorated for Christmas already and a stunning venue at any time of year.

Rest assured I did not eat all of that! Instead I won't need to cook all weekend :-)

Starters:
Asparagus wrapped in parma ham with a perfectly poached egg and sauce Hollandaise
Sweet potato and goats cheese galette
Risotto with scallops and chorizo

Mains:
Duck breast, pommes anna and leeks
Vegetable mille feuilles
Lamb with potato dauphinoise and spinach

Desserts:
Pavolova with black cherries and creme chantilly
Chocolate fondant with ice cream
and I forgot to take a picture of the tarte tatin with creme anglaise


From the archive: last year's tasting: 2013

 Have just been watching Gavin and Stacey - they crack me up!

Ahhhhh, one of those days... I had to cancel my evening plans, as I simply wasn't able to leave the office on time. Then again with just ~two weeks until our main event, that's not really surprising.
I've just been to the gym though (second time this week even!!!) and am feeling much better. And tomorrow is another day. Staff pizza lunch is in the diary - that's a start!

It's going to be fine, right?

25/11/2014

- no comment -

messy

I had my second skype coaching session over the weekend. Like the first session, I found it really useful but I also felt caught up in a messy chaos of conflicting thoughts. What seemed really clear to start with, suddenly got all muddled up. I've got more homework to do and think it will be important to really make time to think about the questions she's asked. I feel that I need to take a more active role in the process. And maybe just in my life in general...

Nevertheless, it feels good to move forward. Still lots to do to get to the point I want to get to. But at least I've now identified and put 'it' into words.

I do at times wonder what it looks like in other people's heads...

Anger Management

I just read an article on 'How to be less angry'. One of the advice given was: Do not vent after the incident. I used to think that letting it all out was healthy. But realized that venting primarily meant re-living the negative experience and feeling the anger all over again. Not very helpful, and especially pointless when it comes to the little things that happen all the time. Better to make a conscious decision of not holding on to it (anything). 

Just me?

Just me or is this a little weird?
Seen at the Chinese supermarket, apparently a Thai product

Another one done

I bought this floral fabric at John Lewis back in April. As a complete beginner, I had purchased 1.5 metres to make a pencil skirt. Way too much fabric, of course, so I decided to make a shift dress instead. I was a little apprehensive, as at £16 a metre (also a beginner's mistake to shop at John Lewis...) this is the most expensive fabric I bought so far and I of course didn't want to ruin it.

I'm quite pleased with the result even though I am not sure about the pleats on the top. I also decided to line the top (not like me to add extra work for myself but I figured the expensive fabric was worth protecting) and that unfortunately means that the dress is a little bulky around the top due to the neck facing and lining.

After the success with the last dress, I again sew the zipper in by hand. Took some time, but was certainly worth it, I think. Even though I have to admit that I am little nervous about the seams busting when wearing it.

New Look pattern 6184, version E but without the belt

Too much choice!

I went to Brixton to check out Simply Fabrics and to get a zipper for the dress I am currently sewing (and finished today!). I disappointingly left with only the zipper. They had quite a few nice fabrics but most of the them were cotton and I was looking for something with at least a bit of stretch or more flowing fabrics. As I was already on the Victoria line, I spontaneously decided to go up north to Walthamstow Market. And what can I say: I spent at least 30 minutes in just one shop! I don't even know its name, but it's the one closest to the station and they have so much choice for so little money.

I eventually left with these four, all priced at £2.75 per metre. For two of them I already know which dresses I want to re-sew with them; not entirely sure what I will make out of the other two. But I have enough patterns to choose from...

Le week-end

Every day on my way to and from work, I pass the Candid Arts Trust. Many times did I think to myself that I should check it out. And in six and a half years, I never stepped inside... Until yesterday evening, when I met T for coffee in the cafe on the second floor. It's a really cool and 'alternative' place which reminded me of the typical student cafes in Germany.

From there, we headed to La petite auberge - a French (who would have thought?!) bistro on Upper Street in Islington. I've been once before - more than a year ago. You can get a Tastecard deal, which isn't valid on Fridays though.

The food was so good and I left absolutely stuffed and after a lovely catch up with the girls :-)

might not look very appetizing but the crepe with chestnut puree, strawberries and Chantilly was so yummy!!!
Thank God that I am not counting calories...

Cover girl*

I spent half a day proof-reading the programme book for our annual meeting. Normally, I quite enjoy proof-reading (much more than writing copy - much easier to correct other people's work!) but there was a lot of science-y stuff. I started off quite motivated, and soon realized that it would take forever to read this word for word. So, in the end I primarily checked for missing sub- and superscripts....One has got to set priorities!

In less than four weeks it will all be over!
I'm kind of waiting for the panic to set in...

(*and as per usual my photo as part of the welcome message looks nothing like me - helps with being incognito at the event!)

How things change

Last week I went up to Edinburgh for the day (for work).

Edinburgh is one of my favourite cities but this time, I didn't get to see any of it. But instead spent all day in meetings... Especially the afternoon meeting was a bit of a waste of my time really but hey, that's how it goes sometimes.

And at least I had the chance for a quick drink and catch up with M at the end of the day, before I had to rush back to the airport - with a lovely Scouse cab driver. Talking footy and feeling happily tipsy.

Plane breakfast was terrible. No idea why I ate it anyway... 

happiness all round

I probably had the nicest welcome at my massage place this week: R seemed as happy to see me as I was to see him! Given that this was only the third massage with him, I was actually really surprised he remembered me. Especially as I hadn't been for more than two months (I think).

We spent the first half hour chatting away, and then I enjoyed the second half in silence - partly cause it's more difficult to speak when lying head down... Best of all: the massage was free as it was my sixth one! Happy times!

And some more food

I had been looking forward to a yummy Byron burger all day, when S cancelled our dinner plans at the last minute... I was already resigned to having to actually cook for a change, when one of my colleagues suggested going for dinner.

It all works out in the end :-)

More half price food at Banana Tree

Seeing the therapist

I had a facial booked the other day. While I've always loved being pampered, I also used to dread being alone with a stranger and the awkwardness of: do we speak? Do we not? What do we speak about?

Nowadays, I am feeling a lot more relaxed. Happy to chat, happy to listen, happy to relax in silence.
Bruna is a wonderful beauty therapist. She's warm and the right kind of chatty and she always extends the treatment time :-)

I've been writing and deleting this last sentence dozens of times now as I can't figure out how to word this appropriately. It's just so lovely to see how much light and love and insight and wisdom I am letting into my life from all sorts of random and unexpected encounters.

Am I starting to sound like an esoteric hippie yet? :-)

Lucky?

A few weeks ago, I saw a message on Facebook: somebody's sister was doing a coaching qualification and was looking for 'volunteers' for her to practice on. I contacted her and had a complimentary first session via skype. Which didn't go very well... From my point of view she kept asking me the same question, to which my answer was 'I don't know'. So, it got a little bit frustrating.

We agreed that this wasn't going to work and we'd leave it at that. A week later, she emailed me with another coach's contact details who she recommended. So, I contacted her and she offered me three free sessions. I had the first one on Sunday. And it was great! I got some new insights which I hope will help me move forward.

One of the things she observed, was that I kept using the word 'lucky'. I seem to regard most - if not all - of my achievements in life as having gotten lucky rather than taking credit for them. It still gets me how I am clearly set in the way I look at (my) life and how it takes effort to change my point of view and sometimes to simply be less judgmental of myself.

MIC

Made in Chelsea is one of my guilty pleasures. I strongly recommend following Rick Edward's twitter feed while watching - makes it 100 times more hilarious!

nice

There have been so many moments in the last year or so (and I've probably written about most of them on here...always nice to read them back) which make me very grateful for the lovely people I have in my life. The last week was especially busy and I was feeling absolutely exhausted on Friday. A jet lag-style tiredness which made me feel as if my mind was just blank (some people might ask how that is different from other days... and they might have a point...) and I couldn't get my brain to work.

At the end of last week, we had a leaving do for a colleague. On my way home, one of my colleagues who I had been chatting to, sent me this message: It was lovely talking to you.

Isn't that sweet?

Moreover, I've been complimented on my jewellery, dresses, my hair and was told that I look glamorous last week. I was wondering whether I never used to really 'hear' the nice things people said, or whether I've attracted nicer people into my life. Probably both. And maybe I've become a bit of a nicer person, too. At least, I'd like to think so. (it  may also just mean that I have better taste these days - with regard to what I wear)

Zettelwirtschaft

I had another coaching session last week. I went in full of anger and frustration and it all came spluttering out. I surprised myself with how emotional I got - verging on bursting into tears.

Looking at one particular question, he asked me what I saw as the possible ways forward. I came up with two alternatives. He wrote them both down on pieces of paper and placed them on the floor. We then began a 'game' of standing either at equal distance in between the two papers, or either on one or the other.

I am very skeptical when it comes to these kind of things and immediately thought to myself: what a load of bullocks... Some weirdo exercise he'll have read about in some coaching book. But I am glad I went with it anyway. It was strange to experience how my feelings and views on those two alternatives changed dramatically depending on where I was standing.

I left feeling not only more calm but also comfortable with both options. Equilibrium was restored and I just felt that everything will be ok. Either way.

At the Vaudeville

Isn't that a great word? And it's also a nice little theatre on the Strand which is currently showing Forbidden Broadway- a parody of musicals. Now, I actually like musicals. And I like comedy. Thus a perfect combination!

Pilates with Candice

One more down, and one more to go. Before the end of the year.
In comparison to the annual meeting, this evening event with just ~120 people was of course tiny. Hassle with the venue didn't make it any easier though. And it reminded me what I don't like about working in events...

Anyhow, most importantly, none of the guests realized what went on behind the scenes, feedback has been positive. Everyone happy, and me knackered after a busy week and a bit of insomnia.

Once we all sat down for dinner in a room that resembled a cafeteria rather than a fine dining room (food was great though - especially the lamb and the mix of desserts), I started to relax a bit. And had some interesting conversations about guns, and private pilates lessons with Candice (not a fitness DVD as I first suspected). The - not so new - revelations that I don't like the taste of wine and skiing (no relation between the two), led our photographer to the realization that I am not the perfect woman after all...

Hush

Dinner at the Mayfair branch (voted Tatler restaurant of the year 2014). Even after seven years in London, I still have no idea where the different districts actually are... - this place is near Bond Street, in case you are interested.

Anyhow, Manchester was hosting a dinner in the private dining area on the second floor. And as it was a relatively small group of ~40 people, I met quite a few new and nice people. I have high hopes for my contact with somebody from Cathay Pacific and am already daydreaming about flying business to Hong Kong next year... ;-)

While I never understand why so many people pick chicken for a dinner (especially when feeding events people), this chicken wasn't too bad. And that is quite a compliment from someone who isn't keen on chicken!

I like the chair on the plates and yes, that was one massive piece of cheesecake!!!

Adding to my collection of notebooks.
Maybe I should take this as inspiration and finally start writing my book!!

The Prince and I

The Parliamentary and Scientific Committee is celebrating its 75th anniversary this year. And as nobody from our organization wanted/could attend the reception - I got the chance to go.
To Buckingham Palace.

And yes, it was amazing - as you would expect. Not surprisingly, the palace is absolutely stunning. Well, the bits we got to see anyway. The Duke of Edinburgh aka Prince Philip is an Honorary Member of the Committee and was hosting the reception and did a short welcome. He kept mentioning the 60th anniversary but nobody dared to correct him. He then made an effort to basically speak to everyone in the room: pretty impressive and exciting!

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to take photos inside the palace. The ladies' bathroom was a bit of a surprise: it has wooden Victorian toilets! (google it - I can't properly explain it)

HIM

No, I am not suicidal. Just re-discovered this song on my ipod the other day. 

What am I doing?!

I don't think I am generally a clumsy person. But I seem to be when it comes to sewing. When I am not knocking over my pins, I accidentally self-harm with the sewing scissors...

I have no idea how I managed to do this, but I basically stabbed my thigh. Very unfortunate, especially as I wasn't wearing trousers at the time (a combination of having just tried on a dress and the fact that even in autumn, my flat is pretty warm)... So, my left thigh is now graced with a big scratch, and my right thigh has a big bruise - from walking into the toilet door at Abbey bar (and no, I wasn't even drunk).

The scissor incident reminded me of how I managed to stab myself in the arm with those big metal scissors we only ever used for cutting wrapping paper at home. I was probably 13 or so, and again cannot remember how it happened. For years, you could still see a mini scar...

much more 'impressive' in real life...

A couple of years

It's more than two years ago now, that I attended meditation classes regularly. I kept meaning to go back, but there was always something else on, or I simply forgot. I finally returned for a session last week when their course started on: Live the life you want.
And who doesn't want that?

It was the same guy doing the course as when I stopped going two years ago. While I found the classes really useful back then, everything just made much more sense now..
I might be a slow learner, but I'm glad that I have at least learned something in two years.

the class takes place at Sadler's Wells and this time
we were in one of their rehearsal rooms with lots of wonderful props

And dinner beforehand at Banana Tree

Seriously?

I went to Abbey Bar on Friday night. Just after 18:00. So not late or anything.
And I got ID-ed. I was like: did I just hear you right? I'm nearly 35! Anyway, I got my German driving licence out (good thing I carry it with me) and as people generally don't know where to look for my date of birth, I pointed to it. And in the process accidentally covered up my photo. And the guy said: could I please see the photo.

Seriously? I've just told you how old I really am. If I was under 18 with a fake ID, do you really think I would pretend to be 34??!

Anyhow, I guess I am now at an age, where this is actually flattering...

Christmas come (very) early

I think it's safe to say that this is the earliest (6 November) that I've ever received a Christmas present. And not only one but TWO. Plus lunch at the Savoy.
I'm one lucky girl!

My first ever baked egg (so yummy!), the biggest piece of pork ever;
super crispy roast potatoes and sticky toffee pudding

Isn't the Savoy very pretty?

Such a cool present - thanks, Santa G! :-)

Not that I would ever forget Edinburgh

2 for the price of 3

For just £9 I got a ticket for some more contemporary ballet at the Royal Opera House: they were showing three pieces: Ceremony of Innocence, The age of anxiety and Aeternum.

I had a great seat - really far up in the amphitheatre but with a straight on view of the stage (whereas before, I've always been on the balcony with side views). I of course hadn't read up on any of the pieces, and I could not work out what the first one was about. At all. There was so much going on on stage, too, that I never quite knew where to look.

The second piece was much more 'understandable' and I did enjoy the dancing and the music. But I also realized how tired I was. So, I actually left before the third piece. I don't think I've ever left during an interval. But no point really, especially as I also knew that I had to do some work which I wanted to get out of the way before Sunday so that I can enjoy a whole day off.

pet hate

Only when I started sewing did I learn that the vertical slit at the back (or side) of jackets and skirts/dresses is called a vent. Most people will know that the vent is often (always?) sewn together with a simple seam when you buy clothes in shops. It's one of my pet hates that people don't remove that seam when they start wearing the piece of clothing.

The button from the back of my new coat fell off the other week, and when I finally got round to sewing it back on, I noticed - to my embarrassment - that my coat has a vent. And it was still sewn closed...

The Infidel at Stratford

Several years of living in East London - and it's taken me until last week to visit the Theatre Royal Stratford East...

They are currently showing The Infidel - David Baddiel's musical based on his 2010 film. Given the musical's success, it has just been extended by a couple of weeks until 15 November. And it's great! Very funny and an amazing cast. 

Dark and cold

The Indian Summer is well and truly over. And it's gone rather cold. Well, appropriately cold for November, I guess. On Monday night I finally had another massage booked after a rather long non-massage time because of my new tattoo. When I was walking along Regents Park to the appointment, in the dark (it wasn't even 18:00...), I remembered how I am not a big fan of winter. My instinct is to go into hibernation or at least turn into a couch potato... Who wants to leave the house in such weather?

I somehow managed to go out every night of this week though. Combined with a busy work week, I'm now feeling absolutely knackered.
But: it's the weekend now!

Let me check my diary

I like planning ahead. But even for me this is a bit extreme:
We are running an event in Hong Kong next May and one of our business partners contacted me last week - and asked whether he could take me out for a drink then.
Let alone that I generally work evenings during an event. As he knows very well. As he's been trying to take me for a drink for the last four years...

So sad and so very beautiful

Hand job

After weeks of procrastinating about my polka dot dress, I finally put the zip in. And I am so glad I took T's advice and did it by hand: while it took forever, it went really well! And I am considering always hand-sewing zippers in the future. The result looks much better than the ones I used the machine for.

I'm nearly done, only that the inside seams look terrible... I haven't yet decided whether to overlock or put a bit more effort in and use French seams instead. Secondly, I am also torn about whether or not to remove the sleeves again. They don't look quite right to me. And lastly, I will also need to lose a bit of weight, as it's a bit tight round my tummy... Other than that, I am quite pleased with it :-)

123456789

I have so many pins and passwords that I generally write them down. Too bad though when I can't work out what my 'encoded' scribbling means... So, I've just managed to block my online banking for one of my German accounts. Of course I can't remember my bloody telephone banking pin either. So, I now need to write a good old letter to request new pins. Argh.... I clearly need to find a better system/more memorable pins.

Incidentally, I also forgot my passcode for my business credit card last week which I needed for an online booking. Which had the benefit that the flight I was about to book had gone down in price by the next day! One of the rare occasions when being forgetful turns out to be advantageous....

how could i forget

that feeling. the feeling that i grew up with. that makes me feel as if everything around me is pitch black and i don't even know where or how to switch on the light again. when i am not even sure there is much point in looking for the light switch.

i honestly have no idea how i managed to struggle through this for years as a child and teenager. and while it really got to me yesterday, it's also a huge relief to know that while others have not changed, i have changed. not only do i have a support system around me* and i am incredibly grateful for that but i have also learned to pull myself out of that miserable feeling.

i guess i cannot ever protect myself from letting people make me feel like that. but it's good to know that the feeling doesn't last anymore.


* and as has been the case so many times over the last year or so, the love and understanding came from a very unexpected source. the mysterious ways of the universe.

plum

I feel that washing my hair daily, now that it is short and it stands in all directions when I get up in the morning, hasn't been very good for my hair. So, I decided to colour it, as that usually makes my hair really soft (and nothing to do of course with me spotting a few white hairs...).

Of course it didn't work this time. Instead, my hair now smells of chemicals and it was a pain to wash the colour stains off my neck... Not that EVERY time I've coloured my hair in the past, I've promised myself never to do it again...

top: before and after; the colour is called plum something or other
and the difference is clearly more visible in the light
bottom: looking more red while it's on and with flash

Hubbub

Birthday brunch with A at Hubbub, a cafe near Mudchute. A very residential area, where you wouldn't expect a cafe/restaurant. Nice and quirky place (any place with sofas wins me over instantly! Yes, I do love friends) and I'd definitely be back. They also accept the tastecard, but while you can't reserve a table (other than for big groups), you do need to call in advance to tell them that you are bringing the tastecard. Slightly annoying and pointless in my view, but hey, I do appreciate that they are not making it THAT easy to claim a discount.

my eggs Benedict and scrambled eggs with salmon and cream on toast

I might change my mind about breakfast

I don't do breakfast. Other than a cup of coffee. I generally don't have an appetite in the morning. But I've just seen that Tesco has launched new spreads in the following varieties:
Custard Cream, Custard & Cream, Cookie and Bourbon - priced £1.99 for a 400g jar.
I have the feeling I might need to try them all!

Acrophobia

It's been unusually warm last week. And we had a couple of lovely blue sky days. Best weather to climb around on buildings, of course. Unless you are scared of heights (like me).

City Road, near Old Street

I've had my Doc Martens since I was 16 when my sister brought them back from the UK for me. I still love them and given their age, I think they still look very respectable. And now that the weather has turned all grey and rainy and London-like again, I will be wearing them more often, I am sure.

Slight design flaw

while the lace makes the skirt pretty it is also ruining my tights
[looks as if my legs have different lengths.
I didn't think they did, but maybe I need to check...]

18 minutes

After my very short spell of motivation, I hadn't been to the gym in a while... And with all my other evening activities, it's easy to find an excuse not to go. But with view to being on the beach in December, I am making another attempt at working out more regularly.

And the other day I managed 18 minutes of (slow) running on the treadmill. I have no idea what's changed - I don't feel out of breath and could probably go on for a few more minutes. But quite frankly - and despite listening to music - I am just terribly bored. On the exercise bike I can at least read!

Nonetheless, I am of course pleased with making a little progress. :-)

blue = red

The Breakfast Club has a big following and the three branches I've been to (Angel, Spitalfields and now Hoxton) are indeed really cool and quirky places. Not sure they are worth queuing half an hour or more for though... But during the evening they seem a little less busy.

I resisted the urge to order the apple pie - cause let's face it, going to the gym once in a blue moon is not going to be enough... and I wasn't even hungry. Instead I had the Blue Monday smoothie, which was a dark red. Tasty and healthy though. And even the 'Green is good' tasted nice despite the spinach and mango in it.

I didn't quite understand why they didn't let anyone sit on the sofas. That area was apparently closed. Only that it can't actually be closed off from the rest of the place.

The group of people at the neighboring table went outside for a cigarette. One of the girls not only left her coat but her handbag behind. That surely is just plain stupid. Again and again I am surprised how careless people are with their belongings. In the cinema the other day, somebody left her bag and coat on her seat while she went outside to the bathroom or the bar...

Friday night dinner

Every Friday morning we have a short staff meeting where everyone reports back on the 'wins' of the week. And I had nothing to say yesterday... It felt like such a busy week but looking back I am not sure what exactly I achieved.

Actually, I just remembered that I chaired a conference call which was scheduled for an hour and lasted exactly 59 minutes. That's a win, right? (not least as I don't usually get to chair meetings or calls!) And delegate numbers for our annual meeting are slightly ahead of last year's numbers, too. So all on target. As I am counting down the days left until my holiday, it's kind of impossible to ignore the days also ticking down to the meeting. I expect November to become even busier but for once I am feeling prepared and relaxed about it. For now anyway...

And the weekend started with dinner with my sister and her fiance who've been in the UK this week at On the bap - a great little Korean place near Old Street which unfortunately doesn't take reservations. And wouldn't let me take a table while I was waiting for my sis... But it all worked out in the end and we even got a nice table right at the back.