that feeling. the feeling that i grew up with. that makes me feel as if everything around me is pitch black and i don't even know where or how to switch on the light again. when i am not even sure there is much point in looking for the light switch.
i honestly have no idea how i managed to struggle through this for years as a child and teenager. and while it really got to me yesterday, it's also a huge relief to know that while others have not changed, i have changed. not only do i have a support system around me* and i am incredibly grateful for that but i have also learned to pull myself out of that miserable feeling.
i guess i cannot ever protect myself from letting people make me feel like that. but it's good to know that the feeling doesn't last anymore.
* and as has been the case so many times over the last year or so, the love and understanding came from a very unexpected source. the mysterious ways of the universe.
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