Benjamin Button syndrome

As a child, I was one of these annoying 'I-know-it-all'-kids.* Primarily due to external circumstances, I always felt that I was much more mature than other kids. Unfortunately, that probably manifested itself in great sadness and unhappiness. Especially throughout my teenage years, I was eagerly waiting to be able to grow older so to be able to leave home. I didn't have any plans as such. But leaving home in itself seemed to hold the promise of the happiness that I was yearning for so badly.

Having said that, I am sure a lot of teenagers feel a similar way and things often just seem so much more dramatic when you go through them, compared to when you look back at them with hindsight (on the other hand, with some things, I do still wonder today how I managed to get through them without being completely f*cked up...).

Anyhow, the older I get, the less wise I feel. And that somehow isn't quite right - or is it? I look at my life and often feel clueless. What should I do? And what's the point anyway? I definitely thought I would have had it all figured out by now. But sadly, that's not the case.

But hey, it's not yet time to give up and maybe there is truth in the concept of lifelong learning. Maybe the older we get, the more we also become aware of all the things we do not know. Which might create the illusion of knowing less overall.

OR, maybe I AM suffering from the Benjamin Button syndrome after all...

* Yes, some people will say that nothing much has changed in that regard, and they might have a point... to some extent.