dreams

T recently decided to return to the job that he left just half a year ago. That reminded me how I have this recurring dream of returning to my very first job (after uni). In my dream, I'm back at the office. The building looks different, but my boss and my team (in real life, none of them are still there) are the same. And while I've only just returned - I'm already planning my resignation as I cannot stand being there. And I also feel guilty about doing this to my boss again.

I cannot make sense of it. I have never regretted my decision to leave. At no stage did I consider going back to the job and I've had a few jobs since but never dream about returning to those. It's not that I dream about this often but it does return once in a while.

Having written this down just now, I wonder whether it's meant as a reminder that I can trust my intuition. At the time, there were a lot of 'rational' reasons to stay in the job but I just knew/felt, it wasn't right for me. And I remember, one day on the daily commute, thinking: I really don't want to go to work. And that instant, I decided that I had enough and was going to leave. And as I said above: I've never looked back.


And as an *: my job wasn't the job from hell, but not right for me and it's not an assessment of T's decision either. Different people, different jobs, different context etc.