fearless

I grew up with a fearful mother. Fear of just about anything. I'm not blaming her, but it's safe to say that I learned to play it safe and could probably be described as risk-averse. And that is of course a sensible way to be in certain respects. But it also holds you back significantly in other areas.

Nevertheless, I've also always been very stubborn. And judgmental, which probably worked in my favour at times. While feeling fear and being scared, I judged myself for it and decided that most of these fears were weaknesses. The benchmark tended to be: would other people do it? And I usually came to the conclusion that they would without even thinking much of it. There was always an underlying embarrassment about being such a scaredy cat.*

It seems that the stubbornness outweighed the fear in a some of the cases and I am very grateful, as it has pushed me out of my comfort zone more than once and has led me to some great experiences. 

Today I came across this blog 100 days without fear (on Ashton Kutcher's facebook page). I love the idea. Facing your fears can only ever be a good thing. Looking down her list, I realized that my list of fears would look a bit different but also highlighted some of the fears I already faced up to. Which is satisfying and reminds me to feel good about myself as much as being critical and keep pushing myself. 

* the older I get, the more I can see of course that a lot of people are scared.